Suffering

Are You Willing?

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Excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

You cannot be a ‘sugar daddy’ in this world; there are no ‘sugar daddies’ in this world. You cannot be the conqueror or the savior as you cannot conquer someone else’s mind. Each person has to relieve themselves of the hatred, greed and ignorance in their own minds. But you can be the savior, and you can be the conqueror, in the sense that you, yourself, can liberate your own mind from hatred, greed and ignorance. In so doing, you can be a way or a path or an instrument by which the hatred, greed and ignorance in the minds of others can also be liberated. Therefore, your prayers have to consist, at least in part, of liberating your own mind from the causes of suffering. At the end of every practice, at the end of every teaching, at the end of every empowerment or anything that you do as a Buddhist, the prayer is this: “May I attain liberation in order to benefit beings.”

It’s very difficult for Americans to hear this kind of thing. It is a real struggle. We don’t like to hear about suffering; it’s so hard for us to hear about suffering. Yet, if you go to different parts of the world, they know about suffering. They know it exists. There are lots of people in the world that can say, “Hey, I’ve heard about this. I know this song.” But we who live comfortably don’t like to talk about it. We think it’s beneath us somehow to speak of suffering. We’ve become hardened to the idea.

You might say, “Well, I don’t believe that it does any good to talk about suffering. I think it does good to think positive thoughts and to constantly create a positive world.” I don’t think that’s the answer. We have become hardened to the idea of suffering, and we must first cultivate within ourselves a willingness to understand the nature of suffering so deeply and profoundly that we can do something other than scratch the surface.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

The Root of Suffering

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Excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

In order to cure the symptom of suffering you might decide to manipulate the circumstances, or the environment. If you see people who are hungry, you give them food. If you decide you want to feed them for the rest of their lives so that they are never hungry, then you have to feed them three times a day, every day, for the rest of their lives, or teach them how to feed themselves. What are you going to do when they get sick? They will get sick. What are you going to do when they get old? They will get old. What are you going to do when they get lonely? What are you going to do when all the different kinds of discomfort pop up? What does it matter if you help a few people? What about the other 5.9 billion on the planet? What about the animals? Where will you start? What will you do, if your intention is merely to manipulate the environment so that the discomfort that you see is finished? Even if you have worked every moment selflessly and have given away all your money, and then have gotten money from other people to help, doing everything that you could to make these things happen, you wouldn’t put a dent in it, not even the tiniest dent. Why? Because you are trying to manipulate something that is very superficial.

This apparent reality that we are viewing isn’t that deep. It’s nothing. It’s a ghost. It’s a puff-ball. We can’t move it, because wherever we move it, it will appear somewhere else. We cannot manipulate our environment. We cannot manipulate phenomena and achieve any real lasting success. We can achieve temporary success. We can have the satisfaction of seeing someone fed who has been hungry, and that person can feel the satisfaction of a meal. If we fed people on a grand scale, it might be a grand satisfaction. But it is not permanent, it is not a solution, and the reason, according to the Buddha’s teaching, is that hunger and poverty and loneliness are not the causes of suffering. They are the results or the symptoms of something else. According to the Buddha’s teaching, the root causes of suffering are hatred, greed and ignorance.

We might take issue with that statement. Say we think about a hungry Indian child, or a hungry American child, or a hungry Ethiopian child. Sure, all of them probably do hate because they’re hungry; and they probably are ignorant because they’ve never gone to school; and they probably are greedy. Boy, if you handed one a biscuit, he’d just grab it and run because he’s so hungry. But we have to probe more deeply. We are only looking at a set of symptoms. According to the Buddha’s teaching there is an underlying cause that makes phenomena appear as it does in any given situation, and that cause is karmic. The Buddha’s teaching is that all phenomena arises from a cause, and that everything that is seen, felt, and heard is actually the emanation or the result of one’s own mind. The mind itself produces all visible phenomena. I hope you can really hear that. To change suffering as it appears in the world can never be permanent. It can never do much good. What has to be done is to change the karmic background or cause and effect scenario of one’s own mind. In doing so, you can hopefully come to a place where you can also be of benefit to others.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

Cultivating Selfless Compassion: Looking Beyond the Symptoms of Suffering

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An excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

When you develop the mind of compassion, you have to be careful how you develop that mind. If you examine yourself profoundly and honestly – and you have to be willing to be very honest with yourself – you may find that your goal is not really to benefit all sentient beings, but to be a kind person. There are worlds and universes of difference between these two goals. One is selfless: you truly wish to be of benefit to all sentient beings. The other is heading in the right direction, but ultimately it is not selfless because you wish that you could be a kind person. I hope that you can hear the difference between these two ideas. There are worlds of difference between them.

How does one cultivate the selfless goal and not fall unconsciously into the trap of ending up with the second goal? A good way to begin is to open our eyes and truly understand the nature of suffering. Why is there suffering in the world? Why is there suffering in the worlds unseen? If we don’t examine this idea, we might take what we see at face value. We might look at people in poor parts of town and say, “Oh they’re suffering because they’re poor.” We might look at people in different countries around the world and say, “Oh, they’re suffering because they’re hungry.” We might look at people in different situations and think we understand the nature of their suffering. But we’re looking at the symptom of their suffering. We’re looking at the fact that they are suffering, but we do still not understand why.

If we see that they are suffering – that some people are poor, some people are hungry, some people are old, some people are sick, and some people are dying — and do not probe to understand the reason for their suffering, we might fall into the trap of trying to do something about those apparent issues. There’s nothing wrong with doing something about those issues. In fact I hope you do, because human kindness – exemplary and virtuous human kindness – has to be part of this world, it has to be part of the activity that you, as Bodhisattvas, are involved in. But if you stop there, you will never succeed, because if you try to cure the symptom of suffering without going to the cause, it’s impossible. The suffering will simply pop up in new and different ways.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

Compassion in Action: Bodhicitta in Real Life

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Excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

Everything that you do should have meaning. It’s important that your life be understood as a vehicle for practice. It’s the only thing that is meaningful: to make this life, which is so rich in opportunity, a vehicle by which you can come to benefit beings. This is the development of aspirational Bodhicitta. Every time you do something good, use that opportunity to dedicate it to the liberation of all beings. If you pat a little child on the head and it makes them smile, that’s a good thing. So you must think, “I dedicate the virtue of this action to the liberation and salvation of all sentient beings.” If you give money to somebody, pray, “I dedicate the virtue of this act to the liberation and salvation of all sentient beings.” You should continue like that in everything that you do. Make up your own prayer. You don’t have to use mine. Dedicate everything that you do so that it might go on, and grow, and be of use to benefit beings. Wean yourself from empty activity, activity that is useless and meaningless. Wean yourself from the need for ‘feel-good’ junk. Learn how to live a life in which your only concern is to liberate beings from the causes of suffering, because doing this is the only thing you can really feel good about. You aspire constantly through these prayers. You really train yourself to do this, and it should never stop.

After you are stable on the path of aspirational compassion, you have to think about concrete or practical compassion. You don’t forget aspirational compassion, saying, “Oh, I did that for a little while when I was a younger practitioner.” You should never stop. Never. I will never stop, and you should never stop. That’s not baby stuff. That’s the real stuff. Then you expand this to include practical compassion.

First you have to decide that the Buddha was right. You look at the Buddha’s teachings and you say, “If he’s right, then I have to think of some practical way to eliminate hatred, greed and ignorance from the world and from the mindstreams of myself and all sentient beings.”

Based on that you begin, and your practice should be deep and true. If you choose to be a Buddhist, the path is laid out, and the path is secure. It goes all the way to supreme realization. If you choose not to be a Buddhist, you still have to find a way to live a life of practical compassion, based on the goal of rooting hatred, greed and ignorance out of the mindstreams of yourself and all sentient beings. You should think that reciting many prayers on a regular basis for others could be of use. You should think activities that cause you to realize the emptiness of self-nature and therefore eliminate desire from your own mindstream would be of benefit. And that, finally, free of desire, when you are truly awake, as the Buddha said, you can go on to benefit others. You should be determined to liberate your own mind, and you should pray every day that you will return in whatever form necessary in order to liberate the minds of all sentient beings.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

The Big Picture

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An excerpt from a teaching called True Motivation for Kindness by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The Buddha teaches us that everything a sentient being does has a little hook on the end of it. And the hook is: I…me…always about me. So you have to watch when you’re being kind that you’re not being kind just to be a certain way. What you really want to do is to alleviate the suffering of sentient beings. It’s about them, not about you. Get the big picture. All sentient beings are suffering. Get that they, like you, don’t wish to suffer.

You can help others understand the value of kindness. You can demonstrate it. You can begin to show people the value of being of benefit to others. You can help people to understand in some simple way that there is something better than the superficiality that they are revolving in. You can pray for their enlightenment. Make prayers for the end of hunger, prayers for the end of war, prayers for the end of suffering in all its forms. You can do that, and in doing that, you have actually entered onto the Path. It’s just a baby step, but a good one. It is one thing that you can do quietly in your heart. No one ever sees it. You can do it without expecting anyone to pay you back.

The upshot of all of this then is to consider compassion in a new way, in a sense to consider it in an ordinary way, in that you can truly practice it within the context of your life. But more than that, know yourself! See what your motivation is. On this path your motivation is everything. Examine the faults of cyclic existence so that when you accept the hard work of this path, even if it’s just simply acting in a compassionate way, accomplish it for the right reasons.

Take into yourself the fundamental truth that cyclic existence is faulted, but that the Buddha said there is an end to suffering, and it is attainable to you if you open your eyes and act appropriately. Don’t waste your time gathering unto yourself things that you cannot take with you. Don’t waste your time. Practice the Path.

© Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

A Mind of Compassion

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An excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

If you’ve never practiced the Buddhadharma before, or if you’re interested in practicing, or if you have practiced some general meditation and you feel it’s time to move on to a path that is more stable or well known, then you’re in a perfect place for this teaching. You can start practicing one of the most important teachings of the Buddha right now. You can begin to cultivate the mind of compassion. How might you do this? First of all, you might look around and examine physical existence.

In America, we hide our suffering. We have very little knowledge of real suffering, and I think that’s one reason why it’s very difficult for Westerners to practice a pure and disciplined path. We think we understand suffering because we have experienced loneliness, or because when we were kids we had the measles, or because we have gone through marriages and divorces. Or maybe we’ve seen some sickness or poverty. For these reasons, we think we understand suffering, and we do to some extent. These are valid sufferings.

But there’s a funny thing about our culture that we must understand. We are actually hidden from the sufferings of our culture. When people are deformed, handicapped, mentally or terminally ill, they are taken away from the mainstream of society and they are hidden. Or if we are considered unpresentable to most people, we have plastic surgery or we have some kind of therapy that makes us like everyone else. In fact, if we examine the healing process in American medicine, part of that process is to become like other people.  We are made to look like other people.

In other countries around the world suffering is more evident, for many different reasons: those countries may not be as technologically advanced as our country, or their culture may be an older society in which suffering has become more the norm and it is not such a shock to see it. Or perhaps poverty is a factor.

I will describe how I felt when I first went to India. I couldn’t bear it. I don’t claim to be so compassionate; I too have to cultivate the idea of compassion every day. But I remember seeing people walking the streets with arms and legs missing, eaten up by leprosy. I saw mothers and fathers maim their children, not because they hated them or because they were cruel to them, but because that would give them a deformity they could use for begging. That would be the only way they could ensure their survival. There was no other way for them to get food. What do we do for our children? We might send ours to school. In the streets of India, they have to prepare them in a different way.

Suffering is a part of the fabric of the society in India, and it’s very evident. I remember walking down the street in Delhi. There was a young boy who must have been twelve; it was hard to tell, he was so small. He was lying on a rag, a tattered blanket, and he was dying. He was so thin that he looked like the pictures of starvation we see from Ethiopia. He was beyond thin. His bones were sticking out, his belly swollen, his tongue hanging out. And next to him were a few coins and a candy bar. Someone had thrown them down for him.

We don’t see that in our culture. We don’t understand it. We think that the things we’ve gone through – the divorces, not being able to pay the light bill, the heartbreak of psoriasis, the things we consider so awesome – are the real sufferings of the world. But they are not all the world has to endure.

Look at the animal realm. We know what our animals are like. They get fed everyday and they have it pretty good. But not all animals are like them. If we go to different countries, we see beasts of burden that are treated in horrible ways. We see animals that are denied their natural environment.

Humans and animals are only two life forms. According to the Buddha’s teachings, there are many different life forms, many of which are non-physical. How we appear, how we manifest, what form we take has to do with the qualities of our mind. If we are filled with hate, we are reborn in a hell realm. Why is that so hard to understand? When you are filled with hate now, even as a human being, aren’t you in your own private hell? Have you ever gone through a period where you were so filled with anger that everything you saw became ugly and you managed to distort it somehow? Each of us has lived in a private hell. Why is it so hard to believe that we are capable of living in or creating a situation like that? If your mind is capable of having a nightmare, then rebirth in a hell realm is a possibility.

Have you ever been needy? Have you ever gone through a period in your life when you needed approval, or love, or some kind of nourishment so badly, that you were in a state of despair? When people did reach out to you, they couldn’t get through? Each of us, for at least one moment in our lives, has experienced this. Why then is it so hard to understand that these kinds of existences really do exist?

Having understood that this is logical, having examined your own mind truthfully – and truthfully is the key – and found the residue of these experiences in your mind, you can allow yourself to go more deeply into the recognition that the Buddha was right. There is suffering in cyclic existence.

We have to think also of our own suffering. We must think that even if we have a TV, a car, a house, and all of the things that we are taught to desire, there will be a point at which we cannot take them with us. There will be a point at which they will do us no good. That point, of course, is death. All of the efforts that we’ve gone through to get those things will have been wasted.

Long-time Dharma practitioners may think, “I really wish she’d get on with it. I know this.” I have to tell you, if you really knew the truth of suffering, there would not be one moment that you did not practice with the utmost compassion. There would not be one moment when you thought only of yourself and your needs, and of the temporary gratifications you think you must have. Yet you still have many of those moments.

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

Commitment to the Dharma Path

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The following is a full length video teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo offered at Kunzang Palyul Choling:

 

In an upbeat manner, Jetsunma describes the faults of cyclic existence and how to make the most of the path that Dharma offers to end that suffering.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Norbu Lhamo.  All rights reserved

 

Courageous Awareness

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The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

I eventually came to draw a lot of strength and a great deal of comfort from that early practice  (Chöd) because I found out that I actually never ever had to make another decision.  And that’s what we struggle with all the time.

The rest of my life became not a dilemma in some odd way, even though there are many aspects of my life that would seemingly be problematic.  It isn’t a dilemma because already the mind is relaxed. That’s one of the great benefits of that practice—the mind becomes relaxed.  You’re not tense in the position of getting ready to determine, getting ready to decide.  That requires a great deal of mental tension.  So that’s done.  The mind’s relaxed and it’s all right.  There’s a big yes happening.  There’s a big yes happening.  I agree.  I agree.  It’s already done, so I don’t have to reinvent that dilemma and solve that dilemma every time.  It’s already done.  That’s the great blessing of a practice like that.

I have to tell you, once you really examine the faults of cyclic existence that way, and the eyes of suffering… I really recommend that if you do this practice. you can do it sitting, standing, anyway you want to.  Do it while you’re walking around.  Just constantly think like this.  My recommendation is fill your eyes with suffering.  Not your heart, not your mind, your eyes.  We walk around feeling insulated.  We don’t want to see it.  You’re flipping through the channels and you see that child in, what, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, someplace like that, belly bulging, ribs sticking out at the same time and limbs that big around, and crusty at the side of the mouth. And why?  Because they haven’t had any food recently.  And no good food consistently.  They’re starving. The first thing we do when we see that?  Change the channel because we have the habit of not wanting to see that.  We don’t want to see that.

My recommendation is spend some time seeing it.  Stop turning away from the sight of suffering.  Use that as a tool.  It doesn’t mean that you have to, you know, give Buddhism a bum rap.  I’m not asking you to be unhappy.  I’m telling you that if you really open your eyes and see, you are in a scene where you are half unhappy and half happy already.  It’s already mixed.  This is not something you have to pretend.  All I’m asking you to do is face it.  Really look at it.  Do not turn your eyes away from it.  Fill your eyes with suffering.  Stop faking it.  We are a nation of fakers.  Stop faking it and really see it.  See what hatred produces.  See what it looks like.  Look into the face of it.  See what hunger looks like.  Face it.  See what bigotry looks like.  Look at it, face it, see what it feels like.  See what ignorance feels like—the kind of dullness and slothfulness that you can hardly get yourself together.  Get a good mouthful of that!  See what that looks like.  Look at all of this concerning ordinary experience in samsara.  And then, having filled your eyes with that, you can use that as motivation, as a reason to practice.

So my recommendation is practice deeply, practice consistently.  Do not turn your eyes away from suffering.  Practice with courage.  Be really courageous about this, and never let yourself off easy in this practice.  To the bone, and then give them up too.  Practice to the depth of your being, until you are deeply satisfied, until you know that you would never take back that offer again, the offer to be a vehicle by which suffering might end.  Do not give up your practice until you know that you’ve done that.  Be a hero.  All you have to do is be a hero one time, one time in your whole life, concerning giving rise to compassion for the sake of sentient beings.  Be a hero.  Be undaunted.  Do not be happy or satisfied with yourself until it is complete.  Do not be happy or satisfied with yourself until you have really seen the suffering of cyclic existence and it makes you sick to your stomach, that not only you, but everyone you see is caught in it.

Practice as deeply as you are able. And you are able to practice more deeply than you could ever have imagined.  So the goal here, of course, is to give rise to the Bodhicitta, give rise to compassion to realize the faults of cyclic existence. I used to think this to myself, whatever I saw,”There’s no future in this.”  So in the future when I picked up a bag of potato chips, I’d go, “Well I can eat it or not eat it, but obviously there’s no future in this!”  And I could look at any scenario in life and I would go, “Pff, no future in it.  I’ve examined it.  I’ve been there, I’ve done it in my mind.” That’s the awareness and understanding that you should be armed with.

 Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Norbu Lhamo All rights reserved

Liberate Your Mind

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An excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

There are many Dharma practitioners who practice for many years, go on retreat, and even take ordination. Then at some point, some karmic switch flips in their minds and suddenly they’re finished with Dharma! They don’t want to do Dharma anymore. They’re on to something else. We may think that’s strange, but it has happened, especially to Westerners. It’s not uncommon for a Westerner to practice Dharma sincerely and then flip tracks, and go back into a very ordinary kind of life. That need not happen to you. But it could. You should face that possibility.

The antidote for that event is to cultivate compassion in your mind every day. If you move along the path of Buddhadharma and become overworked by it, thinking, “I just can’t practice that many hours a day. I cannot do this activity that propagates the Dharma anymore. It’s just too much.” If you become dry inside, if you think you just can’t go on, there’s only one way that that could happen to you. You have forgotten the suffering of others.

You must cultivate the memory that even in this visible world where beings can be seen, there is suffering that you cannot comprehend. You must think that there are children being abused everywhere, that there is starvation and poverty. You must think about the terrible diseases that afflict the body, speech and mind. You must think about the horrible things that come along with suffering, and the depth of suffering that exists, even in the realms that you can witness. If you think about that everyday, more about that than you do about yourself, you will not fall off the path of Dharma. When you become weak, when you waiver, that is when you forget. That is when you think the path is all about you. It’s when you forget that you are practicing for their sake, and that you are practicing also to liberate your mind so that you can be of benefit to others.

A non-Buddhist practitioner might say, “I’ve got another idea. Why don’t I do what I know how to do best. I’ll go out and make some money, and then I’ll feed everybody. I can do that.”

I’ll tell you a story about when I went to India. In our innocence, we thought, “Let’s go see Bombay; this is really going to be great.” So we got in a taxi and we went through the streets of Bombay thinking that we were going to see the India on the postcards. What I saw were streets so filled with sickness – leprosy, deformity, unbelievable poverty – that I couldn’t see anything else. I know there were beautiful buildings. I know there was beautiful scenery, but I couldn’t see those things.

Every time the taxi stopped, people with only part of a limb and open sores of leprosy would stick their arms in the car and beg.  Mothers would hold up their babies that they had done something to, saying, “Help us, help us.” So I started passing out dollar bills to everyone. I soon realized I was in deep trouble as I only had a limited amount of money, but that didn’t stop me.

I was traumatized by this. I was crying to the depth of my heart, because I had known that suffering existed, but I was used to my brand of suffering. I had never seen anything like this. I continued to pass out dollar bills, and finally the taxi driver stopped. He turned around and said, “Lady, don’t do this anymore. What is one dollar going to do for these people? Maybe they’ll eat today. What will you do for them tomorrow? And if you give out one dollar to everyone you see, there are so many people like them in India, you couldn’t help them all.” His saying that shocked me; he was right. Even if I could manage to become wealthy, I couldn’t feed the world. And hunger is only one kind of suffering. How can you help the other kinds of suffering? This kind of ordinary compassion ultimately does no good.

Why are those people suffering in India, and why were you born here in the West where things are relatively comfortable? Why are there animals and why are there humans? Why are there other realms of existence? Why is there so much suffering in one place, and much less suffering in another place? It is because of karma. That is the reason for all of this. Yet there is a cure for negative karma, which is the kind of karma that causes suffering. Ultimately, it is the only cure that will work. That cure is the eradication of hatred, greed and ignorance from the mindstreams of sentient beings. And the root of hatred, greed and ignorance is desire.

This doesn’t mean if we see starving people we shouldn’t feed them, that we should immediately teach them the Dharma. That, of course, won’t work. We have to be skillful. If people are hungry, we feed them first, and then we teach them. But your job now is to do neither. You might not have money, and you might not have the ability to teach just yet. But you can do something. You can practice Dharma in such a way that you, yourself, become free of hatred, greed and ignorance. You can practice so that you can liberate your mind from cyclic existence for one reason and one reason only: that after liberating your mind, you can emanate in a form that will continue to benefit beings. You can liberate your mind from desire to such a degree that you have only one hope, and that hope is that you will be born again and again in a form that will bring this antidote to other suffering beings. That’s what you can do.

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

Root It Out

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HE Mugsang Kuchen Rinpoche

An excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo from the Vow of Love series

How can you develop the kind of love that sustains itself? How can you cultivate compassion like a fire that never runs out of wood to burn? That never goes out. The fire of compassion is based on being courageous enough to come to an understanding of suffering. You have to come to a deep understanding that all sentient beings are suffering endlessly and helplessly, and bring yourself to the point where you can’t bear it. Cultivate the understanding that even though you know you can’t see all sentient beings, you can’t feel them, you can’t touch them, still, you want nothing more than to rid hatred, greed and ignorance from their minds, because you understand this is the cause of their suffering. You understand the whole dynamics of suffering: why it exists, how it exists, where it exists, how it grows, and at that point you become deeply committed.

You can begin by renouncing the causes of suffering yourself. If you have not renounced the causes of suffering, you can’t do a thing for anyone else, and so it takes a tremendous amount of courage. According to the Buddha, hatred, greed and ignorance in the mind are the causes of suffering. Hatred, greed and ignorance are preceded by desire. If there is no desire in the mind, there is no root from which these poisons can grow; there is no cause for hatred, greed and ignorance.

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

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