projection | Tibetan Buddhist Altar

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Neurotic Interaction to Guru Yoga”

It seems you have these strong habitual tendencies and project them onto an environment stimulated by just about anything. And when the stimulation looks like it’s even on the same continent as a predetermined habitual karmic scenario that you have been going through cyclically, you’ll do it again. So many people do not have a good or honest or true relationship with their teacher because they are basically having a relationship with their own neuroses. That’s the truth! That’s the truth! They’re having it with their own neuroses. But you see here again is a mystery, something beautiful that you really need to understand. I’m using a very western way of explaining this so that you will understand better. That’s part of the gift of having a teacher. It’s part of the gift, because the teacher will show you your own mind, will mirror something. There’ll be that little bounce-back phenomena there so that when you have a meeting with the teacher, and something begins, you begin to feel like, “What’s happening here? I’m beginning to feel a little itchy twitchy. Now wait a minute, I’m seeing some authority figure stuff come out.” Or, “Oh God, that reminds me of my mother!!”

Or men are like, ALL women do that!! I hate that!! So that will start to happen, and when that starts to happen, what the student doesn’t realize is that is a perfect opportunity to look at your mind. It’s a gift. Of course, you can make this gift happen anywhere in your life and actually this is the best way to practice Guru Yoga. There is a lot of poetry and a lot of very profound Dharma text written about seeing the Guru’s face everywhere—in every person, in every situation, in every hardship, in every joy, in everything that comes to you one way or the other—seeing the Guru’s face, and therefore turning adversity into felicity. Using the practice of seeing that the teacher’s face, the Guru’s face is everywhere. Therefore I turn all adversity into felicity because I honor that blessing, you see. So that would be a great way to practice.

But what happens instead is that we project our own neuroses onto the teacher. Now as a teacher I’ll tell you that oftentimes what happens is that you have to hang back and just let the student do that thing they’re going to do. Just let them spin around and do whatever it is they have to do. Go on, knock yourself out. You kind of watch them go through their little freak out. They’re smooth. They kind of do their little neurotic thing, and they’ll freak in their response to this and their reaction to that and so forth. After a while the student will kind of calm down. What they’ll find is that it will come in their face so much that they’ll have to work some of it out. And they’ll also notice that, pretty much, the teacher’s not playing. You know, the teacher just doesn’t play the game with you.

Once in a while a student has been so locked in that confusion that (I’ve had to do this too) I’ve seen teachers kind of put on the chicken suit and go in there and dance with the student a little bit, because they need to make some kind of connection. They feel kind of out in space somewhere and they need to make some kind of connection. So even if there aren’t honest and true, disciplined and pure student-teacher relationship responses happening, there is the introduction to that which is the student and teacher kind of dancing around a little bit. But you must understand the teacher is dancing with your neuroses. That’s what’s happening.

In order to practice Guru Yoga well, here’s the trick: Most people think that Guru Yoga is about giving up your will. Now you don’t have to think any more, you have a teacher. Wonderful! Mazel tov! This is terrific! In fact, when you have a teacher, what that means is that you have to take responsibility. It means more responsibility, not less. The teacher is not here to blow your nose for you. The teacher is not here to take responsibility for you. If the teacher were here to take responsibility for you, the teacher could also have your enlightenment. And since that’s not what she wants because the teacher has already got their own situation handled hopefully, then you must understand that the responsibility is yours.

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Neurotic Interaction to Guru Yoga”

You need to determine for yourself, “Did I choose this to be what it is? And have I gone through the entire process? And do I know what I’m thinking? Or not.” It is not about being true to the guru. It’s not like you’re married and can’t go out with anybody else. It’s not like that. Being true to yourself: you have this opportunity. Let this be the one arena in which you do not do the little neurotic dance. Let this be the one area in which you accept the responsibility of watching the relationship with one’s teacher as though one were watching a display of one’s own mind on an external projection thing, like a TV. Able to learn about oneself, able to determine.

And so this experience, then, the relationship with one’s teacher, becomes extremely useful and extremely pure. There is no exerting of one will over the other. That’s not what’s happening here. It is the development of a pure understanding, free of the usual habitual tendency and contrivance that we engage in. We all do this. We all do this. I even find myself doing this. Sometimes I’ll think, “Oh, god, it’s been too long since I’ve called my teacher. I’ve gotta call him.” That’s so ridiculous, so ridiculous to think like that. And then also to think, “Oh, maybe he’ll be mad at me when I call him. Maybe it’s been too long.” It’s so ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Because instead you should be asking yourself, “In my continuum, in my mindstream, where is my teacher? What is that? Where is the light of my heart? Is it there? Is it free to be exactly what it can be? Or have I superimposed all of my ideas about relationships on it? Is it time now, in a natural way, do I need to hear the voice of my teacher? Do I need to feel that connection again? Do I need to tell him that his efforts with me have not been wasteful, that I am carrying on his wishes, that I’m doing my best to please him by benefiting sentient beings?” Something like that. Where is the light of my life? That’s the true relationship in there. It doesn’t matter what you do on the outside.

As a teacher, the thing I hate worst in the world is the student that does a whole lot of this, and none of this. It’s not in there. It’s not happening. I mean, boys and girls, I hate to tell you, most of the teachers and myself included, were not born under a rock. They know the difference. So where is the heart? That’s what it’s really about, isn’t it? Where is the heart?

In that way, if you practice purely in that way–and I found this to be truth for me–I know that this is true personally on a deep level. If I practice like that, then my teacher teaches me constantly, whether he is here or not. My teacher teaches me through you, constantly. Don’t even go there! Thinking that now you’re going to be a teacher! Don’t even think it! I saw that little “Oh, yeah, I can do that!” No, it’s true, my teacher teaches me through you. I get to see, I learn so much, through you. I watch how your minds play with things. I watch how you respond to things. I watch how you let go, how you get caught up, and I learn about myself, of course. Of course. And I also learn about the power of the Three Precious Jewels. I have watched them transform lives–unbelievable. Unbelievable!

The “Chicken Suit”

Where is the Heart?