The following is respectfully quoted from “Gurus for Hire Enlightenment for Sale” by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche (@tsemtulku on twitter):
His Holiness 101st Gaden Tri Rinpoche has told us that teachers who teach the Dharma today are very brave, very courageous and have compassion for the world because they dare tell the truth, kindly, without harming.
If you want to hear nice words, you can get that anywhere. You can pay a nice pretty girl to tell you all types of nice things. If you shout loud enough, you can get your partners to tell you nice things too, because they want you to stop shouting.
If I were really interested in just extorting things from you, if I were the type of person that was here solely for the motivation of getting material gains, finances and self-gratification, then I would never scold anyone, never tell anyone off, not criticize, not ostracize, not ignore; If students missed a commitment, I would not say a word. I would say it is okay. Let them think that they are doing Dharma and never say anything if they are not.
Some students complain, “Rinpoche’s not compassionate, he doesn’t talk to me!” If I wanted things from you, wouldn’t I talk to you? I want those cheques! I want the nice things! I want more cars, I want more buildings, I want another diamond ring!!! So wouldn’t it behove me to be nice to you? To write you nice e-mails that say you are wonderful, you are fabulous, you are reaching the third level Bodhisattvahood?
If you want to extort money from your students, here’s the recipe: do not shout at them, do not tell them they are going the wrong way, do not slap them, do not scream at them and do not ignore them for more than one hour. Tell them they are fabulous and they are advanced. The biggest secret is to tell people that they are a reincarnation of something. That is the secret ingredient to becoming a high, famous Rinpoche anywhere in the world!
Why would I tell you to do your sadhana if you did not wan to do it? Why would I criticize people, tell them off, give them dirty looks if they do not come for teachings or force them to go to prayers? Why should I (or any Guru) do that to you if I wanted money, respect and help from you?
If a Guru has big sponsors and he ignores them, he does not see them, call them, talk to them or eat with them, is that the right way to get more money from his big sponsors? Or is it that he is trying to impart the Dharma to them? You must check if it matches.
Also, to talk nicely and eloquently in a class situation is great but I believe in “after-sales service”! That is to make sure the students are doing their mantras and their visualizations, to make sure the students are holding their commitments and vows, to make sure that when they slip I can get them back on the path, be it by jokes, fun, scolding, fears, wrath, peace or any other way.
A lot of people find that to be very comforting, caring and very nice. One or two people feel that the after-sales service is pressure, that it is focusing on them, nitpicking or pointing out their mistakes but that is not my intention. We can soothe people’s minds and teach their minds, but we have to realize their level, understand their minds and where they are right now. Then we slowly take care of them, nurture them, give them love and care.
Sometimes love and care can be wrathful and fierce. Sometimes I run the risk that the people to whom I am wrathful, fierce and direct with will retaliate, fight back, ignore, avoid, or dislike me. I feel very sorry if they do that but if I have used a fierce and wrathful method, it means that I must have used the peaceful method many times and it did not work.
If you are hanging off the edge of a cliff and I need help to get you off, I will need to scream very loudly for help. In that way, if you are breaking your commitments, you samaya or your practices, of course I will “scream”, I will intervene and intercede. If I do not, do not call me a Guru, a teacher, or a Dharma instructor. Do not even call me a human being.
I need to intercede, I need to talk, I need to say things and because you do not have a Buddhist-conscious background — where the Guru just needs to say one sentence or one word — saying it simply and gently is probably not going to work. Students around the world, outside of Buddhist countries, require tremendous explanation, cajoling, jokes and a tremendous number of methods to educate their minds about Buddhist culture — which took millenniums to be established — within a few years.
The bottom line is if people are not doing their commitments, then whether they belong to another Guru or not, if they are in my territory, in my center, I will tell them what is right and what is wrong, with respect to their Dharma practice and their Gurus.
From “Gurus for Hire Enlightenment for Sale” by Tsem Tulku Rinpoche