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Letting Go of Hate

December 2, 2011 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

From The Spiritual Path: A Compilation of Teachings by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

You have heard that hatred is a primary cause for suffering, so you may say: “First, I want to be free of hatred.” Don’t you often say that? But hatred remains. Why? Because you will willingly let go only of the things that obviously cause suffering. For instance, you will not be involved in wars. Yet this is no great credit to you. Oh, it is some indication that you are progressing on your path, but butterflies don’t wish to go to war either—and they don’t even have the potential to know the Nature of Mind.

Where is this hatred that you wish to be rid of? It resides deep within some subconscious levels of your mind. It also hides. Though you decide to rid yourself of hatred, you compulsively want to hold something back for your own. Hatred you want to be rid of, but you also want to hold on to a particular prejudice against someone or something. You want to maintain an active set of opinions about the qualities and personalities of others. You want to be the one who is right. You want to be the favorite—but this, of course, can only happen if others are not. On the conscious level you pledge your life to be without hatred, but still you have not overcome your dependency on the data given to you by the five senses. You give with one hand and hold back with the other.

The five perceptions are born of desire; this results in all karmic suffering. Your job is to renounce your participation in this process to the very depth of your capacity and then take refuge in the five celestial perceptions, the components of the Buddha in the world, the five pathways to liberation. If you run from the facts of your existence, you will miss your opportunity. You must decide from the depth of your being that you truly wish to be free of hatred in all its forms. Make every conscious effort, realizing that that will not be enough. For instance, it is not enough to think positively: that only makes your hatred more subliminal. Instead, take absolute refuge in the Buddha’s teaching. Make fervent wishing prayers to be free of hatred. Make many different offerings that this might be accomplished, wishing sincerely to be free of pride and the demons of the five senses. Then practice and live the Buddha’s teaching.

There is no suffering you cannot be free of. You hold in your hands a precious wish-fulfilling jewel, a magic carpet, celestial food. You need not be imprisoned within the demonic confines of your five senses when at last you have dedicated yourself to realizing the nature of the five goddesses. The degree to which you have devotion will determine the speed of your victory.

Approach the Well of Blessings with Pure Intention

March 21, 2011 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

From a series of tweets by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo:

I think it is quite difficult to have a deeply beloved family member constantly angry. First I wonder if there is a physiological reason. Then I try to look through their eyes, try to reason out why. Is it me? Is it stress? Is it dietary? Is it spiritual? Or is it just time? Sometimes people resist the time to change out of fear. Or grief. Who really wants another year gone? Kids ready to drive, I guess.

The rest of us know, and sometimes refuse to accept that change is imminent whether we like it or not. Change is scary for most folks. At any rate we make ourselves miserable by resisting change. And impermanence is the only constant. Worse, we make those around us miserable also.

When I grew up there was so much rage that I remain stained by the burn. I have avoided angry people since the last time I trusted one. It ends up badly every time. So if someone close becomes enraged I tend to hide emotionally. Not the best solution, no one learns anything. But often confrontation, even peaceful cannot help long term. The angry one must commit to puzzling out what is amiss. Exercise can help, time off can too. Reassuring the hurting one that you will help if they will help themselves. But no one can carry another’s rage. It is not helpful. No one heals.

Personally, I have a lovely house, and from experience I have learned I will never again walk on eggshells to make someone happy or at least “shut up.” I’m not good at this but I must hold my ground and boundaries. I have little experience in this. I was too weak as a child and fell too hard in love as an adult to protect myself. No more. I know now through three years of pain that I am entitled to make myself a wholesome life. I will not accept abuse from anyone again. What if it is family? Ex’s not counted – how to cope? Day by day, hour by hour, week by week I must stand my ground. I am not saying I will retaliate. Simply this: “no more.” I am a good person and I expect to be treated kindly. If I were to die today I know I have made the world better already. Given the chance I will continue. So respect me.

If anyone can say the same I do respect them. No, not the BS artist. Really better. Nevertheless, I won’t tolerate rage and disrespect any form in my home or anywhere near. Enough already. I guess I’ve finally grown up! And learned enough to take care of myself emotionally.

When and if you come to my well for pure water, do so with a clean bucket and a kind and respectful heart. Or you simply will not drink from this fountain of blessings. I don’t decide. You do, through the strength of pure intention, and as always, love.

Blessings!

OM MANI PEDME HUNG!