When will I see my Guru in the flesh again? He will be young; I am getting old. He will be beautiful to my eyes as he is to my heart.
When will my heart leap and my spirit be refreshed? OM AH HUNG BENZAR GURU PEDMA NORBU SIDDHI HUNG!
Why must I be alone without His gift of protection and grace? He is gone from the earth but resides in my heart. Beloved!
See the butter lamp I have offered to guide you home. See the refreshment and comfort I arrange for you! Your favorite roses I tend…
Grant me the blessing of touching my head to your lotus feet; I crave your scent. Here is all my life & work. Will you accept this harvest?
When your human mother sees your eyes for the first time, will she know she has carried BUDDHA? Will she drown in their depth as I have?
When she kisses your sweet head will she feel your Vajra Crown? Will her lips curve in secret Bliss? Will she give the milk of Bodhicitta?
How long will I walk in loneliness without the comfort of your Nirmanakaya form? Each day is a suffering… I need you.
When I stayed in India with you, I was brought amazing gifts, nourishing, pure, and was honored by you- I wish I could offer to you- bliss.
I remember going shopping for brocade with you. Lobsang said “wake up! (5:00am) HH is taking you shopping!” No coffee?
You stopped, first thing, for coffee and “iddley” (sp?) – I know you heard me. When you drove your car you talked non-stop! So happy-
You would spit when you spoke excitedly… I swore I would never wash my face, for you had spit on it when talking. Shower of Blessings.
You tested me hard. I did not know what to do but love you.
Today in my practice I knew you were there-here-everywhere. And my mind? Why do I wait when you are never gone? I adore you.
AAHh, Beloved. I long for you. Grieve and rejoice in you. If all Samsara conspires to take YOU from me- it is not possible. I am yours.
You are my delight, my reward, my family, my LOVE. No one can take you from me.
Just as Lamchen Mandarava held to a stone mountain to stay in your presence, I will fight the very demons of hell to remain your servant.
Because I know you. I know you, Beloved; wherever you appear. My heart is your home. My crown YOUR seat. Beloved; return!
Master of awakening, holder of all that is meaningfull, I beg you to return and preserve the Purity of mother Palyul! KYE HO!