Letting Go of Pride

An excerpt from a teaching called How to Pray by Being by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

In order to really pray we have to let go of our pride, of our clinging to self. We have to let go of our self-importance, of that part that says, “Look at me, I’m praying” or the one that says, “Maybe if I recite mantra, it will go over there to that person.”  That’s not awakened; that’s dualistic.  So pride is the main obstacle to our true prayer—pride and its twin, doubt.

There is a Christian teaching that explains why. Although I am not a Christian minister, I do very much value the teachings of Jesus and know that he was a great and realized bodhisattva.

Jesus once gave a teaching in which he said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  What did he mean?  In ancient Jerusalem there was one gate that went into the city (it was known as “the eye of a needle”), and that gate was very low and very small. In order for a camel to get through it, it had to get down on its knees and crawl. But a rich person is often too proud to kneel.  So that teaching explains that pride is the obstacle. Pride is the enemy.

When we have prideful thoughts, we are clinging to self-nature as being inherently real, and we are always in a state of judgment. If we are high, others are low. So the most important element in learning to pray is to let go of pride—the idea that I am a practitioner, that I am praying, that I am doing some good. Instead of that pride, we need to develop an awareness that everyone is the same in their nature. All of us are expressions of the infinite possibility of the primordial uncontrived wisdom state—like white light going into a crystal and breaking into different colors, into beautiful reflections. Do we cling to the colors and no longer look at the light? Do we only look at the display and not look at the foundation? No. What would be the benefit of that?

So when we get ready to pray, we should do like the camel did in Jerusalem: we should get down on our knees. Our inner posture should be a heartfelt awareness of our interconnectedness. We should pray, “Here are my brothers and sisters, some of them swept off the face of the earth (by a giant wave, an earthquake, a plane crash, an act of war or some other tragedy…). Some of them are hungry. Many of them have died. Many have lost their families and loved ones.” We think with that kind of compassion and consider the situation of other sentient beings rather than just worrying so much about ourselves.

We simply consider their suffering. We keep our ears open to their calls, and we recognize that we are the same as they—not higher, not lower, but the same in our nature. We all have the seed of awakening. There is no difference. The haughtiness that we have, the games that we play, all have to go.

Instead, we adopt a posture of clear hearing. We have to hear the cries of sentient beings and then remember that they are the same as us. We have to think, “I hear you.  I am not separate from you.”  And we remember the Three Precious Jewels. It could easily be that in our next life, we are in their position and they are in ours.

By untangling our pride, we realize that it is our privilege to benefit them. Pride is like a constricting force around our heart.  It keeps us from opening up. It keeps us separate. It keeps us miserable, and it affirms samsara every day. When we are prideful, we are praying for suffering. We are praying to continue in the land of lost ones.

So we are taught to drop that prideful stance and to connect and wire up to the Three Precious Jewels. We take refuge because we realize that in samsara there is only samsara no matter what it looks like or how dynamic it appears. Samsara will dance and seduce. Samsara will say, “Drink me.” Samsara will say, “Eat me.”  Samsara will say, “Come and play. Be free.”  Samsara is a seductress who will make us suffer even more than we thought possible.

© Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo