From a series of tweets by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo:
I’ve been asked by a young follower what to do about anger and hate. First, forgive yourself, as you are a young lady, and growing up is in truth a time of wild emotions, a time of exploring them. Hormones fly around, and we are not so able to control either one. However, start now to learn about emotions.
Even if someone is mean to you think about this: all sentient beings wish to be happy. Even if they act out, they are trying to make themselves happy by being negative. They don’t understand how to be happy so they try abusive behavior to feel powerful.
Now think about this: All beings want to be happy but they are mostly suffering with a few bright spots here and there. When people suffer they often strike out at others. But really, they are unhappy and insecure. Perhaps their parents didn’t teach them courtesy and ethics. Maybe something awful has happened to them and they take it out on others. But always they are insecure, and maybe jealous of you. Even adults can act out violently when they are insecure and jealous. So the first step is to understand they are suffering, want to be happy, and don’t know how.
It never helps to be nasty back. It is bad for you and them, and makes things worse. Instead, apply an antidote. If they say cruel things, pray for them to be happy (and leave you alone!) Don’t take their hate personally. They are very unhappy and need help. You must be as kind as possible even when they are horrible.
Remember they are basically the same as you. You also want to be happy and bravely asked how! You are moving forward and they are stuck in hate still. So think, “I am so blessed to know what to do.” Then think, “the haters do not know what to do.”
When you understand that, you can have some compassion for them. You can see you have grown up quite a bit by praying for your enemies. They have not come as far as you on the path, so you have compassion. You are developing the virtue of human kindness by tolerating with understanding why they do as they do. So it is important not to react to hate. Let it be as it is. You aren’t doing the hating anymore.
Whatever happens is their problem not yours. When they hurt you, let it run off you like water off a duck’s back. Be the good, mature, kind young lady like you know you can be! In the end it doesn’t matter what they do, it matters what you do! Your job now is to build compassion and character as you grow. If you do, you will naturally draw to yourself good friends, and people of quality!
You are seeing the face of suffering, and their opinions are worthless. Suffering drives them. Let loving kindness drive you to happiness!
Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo. All rights reserved
I am not such a young lady but I can definitely take this tweaching to heart. Thank you Precious Jetsunma!
I’m not young either but very much appreciate this teaching. Can’t hear it too much. Thank you.
BTW, I’ve been bookmarking the tweachings as they come out for reference. The links are also towards the end of the page on tara.org under Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo/Teachings.