The following is an excerpt from a public talk given by His Holiness Khenpo Jigme Phuntsok:

The Buddha taught that true happiness and peace can never be found through material gain, and the only way that one can truly be satisfied is to realize this point. Therefore it is very important for all of you to consider decreasing your attachment to the objects of this world, to all apparent phenomena, and to understand that more important than spending most of one’s time pursuing the material world and thinking that happiness can be found in this way, we should try to practice pure Dharma. Not only that. To be too attached to friends, family members, even our children and our spouses, those whom we cherish, thinking that it is only through our relationships with them that we can have happiness, is only going to bring us more suffering. This is also a source of suffering, since we will be distracted having to figure out how we can bring food to the table and get clothing for our offspring and all of the other necessities that one has to completely fill one’s mind with. The details of survival for family and friends will completely distract one from the benefits of purely practicing Dharma.

Regarding the wish for fame and glory: Those who don’t have it suffer because they don’t. Those who are poor and those who have no position at all are always having some expectation that somehow and in some way they may be able to rise above this circumstance and achieve a position of fame and glory. Those who are already in positions of fame, glory and leadership are always suffering from the fear that they are going to lose their positions. So in both cases the suffering is more or less equal. On this point I would like to say that probably here in this place there are those who are very, very poor and there are those who are very, very wealthy and in high positions, and there is quite a big space between them. I was thinking that those who are in the high positions are probably suffering even more than those who are poor. The reason for that is because those who are poor—except for the fact that they are always having some kind of an expectation that someday they may become wealthy or in a better position—probably have enough to survive, are getting along sort of all right. And the mental suffering that they endure is not too extreme, except for that expectation or wish. But those who are in high positions are probably suffering much more because they are always fearful that they are going to lose their positions, that they will fall down to a lower place. So their minds are filled with doubt and paranoia and anxiety. In this way they suffer more than the poor people.

The nature of suffering is twofold: Suffering is caused by delusion and by karmic propensities. When we speak of delusion, it refers to three root conflicting emotions: desire-attachment, anger or aggression, and delusion itself, stupidity. Let’s look at desire-attachment first. Now this conflicting emotion fixates itself upon objects, objective appearances, such as material things, fame, status or other human beings or individuals. Wherever it fixates, then if one allows oneself to become controlled by that emotion, then the only result will be unceasing suffering or discontent.

Anger or aggression is a conflicting emotion which causes one to feel that one actually wishes that others will suffer. That which brings up this conflicting emotion of aggression is due to the desire-attachment that we have for ourself and those that we are already attached to because if anyone else tries to harm them, then those other people who are trying to harm our loved ones or friends are termed enemies, and we feel aggression towards them and wish that harm would come to them. As soon as we enter into this type of emotional battle, the only result is unceasing suffering.

That which is termed delusion or stupidity is the inability to understand or recognize what should be accepted, what should be rejected, what should be accomplished and what should be abandoned. Inner divisions of delusion include misunderstanding and incorrect understanding. The first of these inner divisions of delusion, misunderstanding, could also be interpreted as misunderstanding, or misusing, the ultimate purpose of this life. The way that that would qualify is that one would have to be born as a human being anywhere in this world who never really understands the difference between that which is wholesome and that which is unwholesome, never having any real kind of ability to discern what should be accepted in order to produce true, positive results and what should be rejected—basically just spending one’s life aimlessly living like a cow or a horse which can graze and eat grass and just kind of survive. The difference between a cow or a horse and a person who is just kind of aimlessly surviving is maybe the person is able to put on clothes and other kinds of comfort. But really the point that is being made is that this person who misunderstands the purpose of life is wasting his or her opportunity because they dwell in this state of delusion, the delusion of misunderstanding what should be done with life.

The following is from a series of tweets by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo:

Many of us remember a song recorded by I think- Dionne Warwick called “What the World Needs Now” (is Love Sweet Love) many years ago. The song is now thought of as “pretty”, but too old to be current. And Ms. Warwick’s voice – wow.

These days, everybody is “hip” and “cool” and too “chill” or “real” to be warm, and loving, to have a tender and generous heart. Instead we think we must be tough to get by. Why is that? When did kindness and compassion, respect for others go out of style? I feel it is good to examine ourselves with true honesty and pure intention. No one can afford to stop growing, and self-honesty is the way to go.

When people are hard and unable to open up it is mostly due to fear and ego protection. We are afraid of being hurt, rejected, and disrespected. So warmth is seen as weakness and vulnerability. It isn’t. Quite the opposite. Strong people can afford to serve others, to bow down and wash the feet of others. That takes a true “warrior for love,“ a true inspiration for humankind.

Most of us talk tough sometimes, and tough love is sometimes needed. Not that often, though, and not for long. If you want to do that, however, you are bound by ethics to take the time to truly study where this person is coming from. What they have been conditioned by. In other words you must learn about them, and reach a point of empathy. The old Native American adage- “Walk a mile in their shoes” before we give ourselves permission to be tough with them. You don’t know, we don’t know, what open wounds we are seeing. Also it is no good to advise others or have authority over them if you do not love them and tolerate their coping methods and their pain. Maybe we think the person deserves our rage. Let me let you in on a secret: we are all the same nature and none of us deserve hatred. None. Even to be born human we are worthy. As are all sentient beings who are unable to ask for kindness.

It is up to us to demonstrate and put into play our capabilities and our contribution. To gather a controllable circle of “yes Sirs” is not love, strength, power, goodness, or anything like that. It is false. It is not love and not power. It is blatant fear and the need to dominate others. We were not made to dominate. No sentient being is. We were meant to love and live together in harmony. Let’s do it together!

OM MANI PEDME HUNG

OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA

©Jetsunma Ahkön Norbu Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Bringing Virtue Into Life”

Denial, in my opinion, is much worse than how fast our lives go. If we have even a meager life span of sixty years, if we really got it, if we really understood cause and effect, we would probably be motivated to start practicing early; and by the time that we were sixty and ready to die, we’d have something accomplished. We would have prepared for our next rebirth. But we don’t do that because we cannot connect the dots. We wait.

I think about the young people that I know, and even the young people that are very close to me. They have the idea that they have all the time in the world. I know because I used to have that idea. All the time in the world. It’s like Friday night. You’ve got the whole weekend so party hearty. It’s really like that. We really have this idea. So when we’re young we do not begin our practice. And then when we’re not so young, when we move into real adulthood, we still are in denial. I tell you when we’re finished being young, the next stage is to pretend that we’re young. That’s the next thing that we do. And then after pretending that we’re young doesn’t work, we imagine that we’re young. It’s sort of like that. We keep pushing off the inevitable, which is that moment when we get that life is really passing and something must be done.

This kind of narcotic quality that is part and parcel of samsaric existence is the real enemy here. It is the real enemy. It causes us to think very strangely, in an odd way, a way that is not productive and is not protective and beneficial toward ourselves. We are not being our own best friends in other words. So what happens is we are deluded, we are stuck. We stay without any understanding. We simply cannot commit to practice. We have this Scarlet O’Hara kind of idea, that tomorrow is soon enough. Tomorrow everything will be fine. So we find ourselves in something of a bind.

A person who has not been able to practice these thoughts that turn the mind toward Dharma is in the most trouble because they can’t move to the next step. That’s the next thought that turns the mind towards Dharma, and it’s a very simple one. It’s actually very logical. It’s about as logical as the law of gravity seems to be, and the law of gravity seems to be pretty logical. Drop it and it goes down…every time that I’ve seen. Show me something different, but every time I’ve seen it. The law of gravity is kind of logical. , I don’t know the physics of it, but, basically it means that this is heavier than the air that it displaces so it’s going down. And the earth will pull it down because of the magnetic quality that the motion of the earth produces. So we understand that this is very logical.

But there is another logical truth that we are missing completely. It’s just as logical, equally as logical, but again we’re playing the game of forever young, never gonna die and always deluded. That’s the game we’re playing. And here’s the truth that is logical, the truth that we’re missing that is so simple. If you think about it, you know it’s true and it’s this: Non-virtuous behavior, such as killing, stealing, adultery, judgment, lack of kindness, lack of generosity, harming others, lying, these kinds of activities bring about unhappiness, every time. There is no case in which you can engage in nonvirtuous behavior in order to produce happy results. It will never happen. It will never happen. In the same way that apple seeds will not grow orange trees, it simply doesn’t happen.

Nonvirtuous behavior, negative behavior, will always, every time, bring unhappiness. The funny thing is we always engage in nonvirtuous activity in order to bring us happiness. That’s what we think we’re doing. We lie about somebody else so that, let’s see… Here’s a good example: Let’s say that I have a boyfriend and my boyfriend loves two women. I’m one of them. So I might, in order to bring about my own happiness, lie about that other woman and say “Oh, she’s no good. You don’t want her. She’s no good.” I might lie about that other woman so I can have this boyfriend. I’m thinking that this lie is going to bring me happiness. It’s never going to happen. It’s never going to happen, because eventually what’s going to happen is this: Someday you’re going to want something very much. Someday you’re going to be completely and totally entitled to something, and that person will be able to keep it from you. You see? It may not happen in this lifetime. It may not happen in the next lifetime. It could happen 10,000 lifetimes from now, where you couldn’t possibly remember, but it will make you unhappy. Eventually it will make you unhappy.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Norbu Lhamo. All rights reserved

Buddha taught that one of the most heinous crimes one can commit from the spiritual point of view is to proclaim oneself to be more advanced or spiritually competent than is actually the case.  Why that is is a very involved subject, but to understand it is to better understand spiritual fidelity.

According to the Buddha’s teaching, cyclic existence is unbearable because it is pervaded with suffering.  Even the happiness that there is within cyclic existence is temporary.  And so we suffer from impermanence and cling to all manner of experiences.  This fixation on maintaining a permanent, continuing ego-self in order to feel safe causes all suffering.  According to the Buddha, self-nature is not inherently real.  Our true nature is the primordial wisdom state, which is free of all conceptualization, including the perception of self-nature.  It is clear, luminous and innately wakeful.  It is not empty and dark in the way we would think of nothingness, but it is simply aware with a non-specific awareness or wakefulness.  This is our nature — not the ego-self that we conceive ourselves to be.

According to this view, there is no being who is greater than another.  Even in the case of lamas who sit on thrones giving spiritual teachings, if they are truly realized, they do not consider themselves to be greater beings than anyone else.  In fact, their realization comes from realizing the sameness of all phenomena and the equality of all that lives.  Thus to think of oneself as being more advanced or greater than others is a falsehood.  Yet many people do have this idea.  And when they come here, they say, “You must know who I am and why I’m here.  I know I have a special mission.”  People have even written to me from across the country, asking me to recognize them as a tulku.  In the first place, I don’t have the authority to recognize anyone.  And even if I did, I would never recognize someone who asked for it.  Never.  In fact, I would pay the least attention to such a person.

Why?  According to the Buddha, the goal is not to become a greater or vaster ego.  The goal is to realize the primordial wisdom state, which is the same inherent nature in all sentient beings.  Anything that we build on top of that is false and actually takes us in exactly the opposite direction from the Buddha’s teaching.  True nature is innate.  It cannot be grown.  It will never be bigger or smaller than it is now.  It will never change, and therefore it cannot be manipulated.

So when people come here feeling that they have an honored place or a special mission, they are only contributing to the size and rigidity of their egos, and they must simply wait it out.  As a woman I know in Tennessee once said, “If it doesn’t come out in the wash, it will in the rinse.”  What you’re going to do, you’re going to do.  And if it is in accordance with the Buddha’s teaching, you will achieve realization.

The Mahayana path cultivates the desire to benefit beings and eventually leads out of the very self-absorption that causes the desire for special recognition.  Consider yourself merely a function of the Buddha’s kindness.  If you are transforming your life into being a vehicle by which sentient beings are benefitted, you really can’t be concentrating on the idea that “I’m helping you,” because then the “I” will become very inflated and the “you” will become dependent.  To prevent such obstacles, we must think about the inherent equality of all that lives — although our egos have various appearances, our nature is the same.  Thus we are completely equal, and anything but kindness is a waste of time.

According to the Buddha, we should apply the antidotes that purify our mindstream and perception and lead to enlightenment.  What are those things?  They are the things that we call meritorious activity: generosity, recitation, contemplation, meditation, prayer, offering, studying and teaching.  Over time, these activities will loosen the mind’s tight fixation on ego and one will spontaneously view the natural state.  Ultimately one will remain stable in that state, awake as the Buddha is awake.

The Buddha never said, “I am God.”  Nor did he say, “I am the Son of God.”  Or even, “I am here to help you.”  All he said was, “I am awake.”  Our job is to awaken to our true nature, and that is what we do.  Quickly?  Probably not, although with diligent practice, the Vajrayana vehicle can lead to enlightenment in one lifetime, or three, or seven.

Each of us walks through the door of liberation alone.  Each of us is absolutely responsible for our own awakening.  So to come to a teacher and say, “Please recognize me,” or “Please enlighten me,” is a little silly.  One should be humble.  One should study.  One should practice.  And however long it takes is however long it takes.

Students come to me and they ask to know the secret of the universe.  Here is the secret of the universe: work hard.  There is no other secret.  To attain the precious awakening one should purify the mindstream; one should make one’s life a vehicle for generosity.

Always think more of the welfare of others than your own.  Be honest.  Be courageous.  Look yourself square in the eye and get the big picture.  All sentient beings are the same.  They are equal.  There are no special cases.  All of us must cease this fixation on self-absorption in order to realize the natural state.

There is no excuse for not starting now.  If you think you’re not ready, get ready.  No one is ready.  If you think you’re not kind, get kind.  It’s a discipline to think of something greater than one’s own self-absorption.  Start small, with 10 seconds of pure generosity, caring only for the welfare of others.  When you get 10 seconds, move on to 12.  In a couple of weeks, try 30 seconds.  Then go for a minute; that’s a year’s worth of work.  Pretty soon you’ll be thinking an hour.  And after a while it will become a habitual tendency.

If you find yourself backsliding, don’t be surprised.  That’s the nature of samsaric existence.  Be patient with yourself; do the best you can, give yourself a break and don’t let yourself get away with murder.  Those are my three cardinal rules for following the Path.

In closing, let me connect this with spiritual fidelity.  One is true to oneself when one is honest, when one faces that one is a samsaric being involved in cyclic existence and is no longer shocked or ashamed or surprised at that.  So it is.  This is where we start.  But you should start with honesty, courage and responsibility.  You are responsible for the humility that you have within your mind, the honesty and devotion you have toward the Three Precious Jewels, which are the very display of enlightenment itself.  Apply discipline and work hard.  Be worthy and be true.  This is spiritual fidelity.

©Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

From The Spiritual Path:  A Collection of Teachings by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

It is difficult in our world to practice regularly, with firm resolve. Some people say, “I’d really like to do that, but I don’t have the discipline, the commitment.” But if you are motivated by compassion, you will find the time and the way to do it. What if you are just too tired? Well, how do you find the strength to breathe when you are totally exhausted? You do it automatically, don’t you? What if you could understand, through a process of deep cultivation, that innumerable sentient beings are constantly in pain, that they go through endless rounds of torment, that there are non- physical realms of existence filled with unimaginable suffering? What if, because of this realization, compassion and profound generosity became so much a part of you that they were an automatic reflex, like breathing? Then there would not be a moment in which you did not practice with the utmost compassion. You would never think only of yourself and your needs, pursuing temporary gratification.

In order to become a deepened practitioner, you must have compassion for all others—so strong, so extraordinary that it will nourish you even when you feel “dry.” Unfortunately, some people practice for years, perhaps taking both retreat and ordination; then, suddenly, some karmic switch flips in their minds. They decide not to “do” Dharma anymore. They move on to other things. This is not uncommon for Westerners. It need not happen to you, but you should face the fact that it could. You could become dry inside. If so, you must face the cause: You have forgotten them.

If an extraordinary, burning love is not the most important force in your life, the natural inclination of a mind still influenced by desire will be to reassert itself at some point. This sounds harsh, but it is true. This is a time of increasing degeneracy. You must practice and cultivate this mind of love so thoroughly that you are moved to the core even at the faint possibility of achieving liberation in order to benefit beings. Do not be afraid of that kind of love. In the West, we learn to be cool, rational and detached. We value this highly. When we go to the grave, however, only the selfishness of this ideal will survive, not the intelligence. What will also survive and create the circumstances of your next lifeis the purity of your mind and heart, the degree of love you have accomplished. And if your love is so strong that you return even after attaining liberation, you are the hope of the world.

If you have the love to make a commitment to benefit beings at any cost, a sense of joy is born in the mind. This joy is stronger than ordinary human joy. It begins as a tiny seed but eventually grows to become a profound sense of bliss.

© Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Bringing Virtue Into Life”

The Buddha teaches us that this precious human rebirth is very, very brief, as brief as a waterfall going down a mountain. You know there is no way that you can appreciate that when you’re young. There is no way. I know because I’ve been young and now I am middle-aged. There is no way. No matter how smart you are. No matter how spiritual you are. No matter how you try to stop and think about it. It is so difficult to understand how quickly our lives pass. When we reach middle age, the big hubbub everybody talks about, we all have mid-life crisis. Well, that’s what it’s about. It’s during the middle of our lives when we realize that basically we have been on a weekend pass and, honey, it is Saturday night late, and the only thing you’ve got left is Sunday. Remember how you used to feel when you were a kid? You looked forward to the weekend so much all week long and by the time it was Saturday night you had this kind of funny feeling realizing that it was pretty much gone. The only thing you had left was Sunday and you had to go to church! So that’s how we think, and right around mid-life we begin to understand that life is very short. But it’s very difficult to understand it before that, particularly since in our culture we are not permitted to see death very much. When our relatives die, they put them in a bag and cart them off. We never get to see them. We get to see them when they look pretty. That’s true! They pretty them up, and then they show them to us after that; but we never really understand what has happened. So we’re shielded even from having that kind of sensibility.

Not only is life quick but there are certain hidden rules within our lives that we cannot take in. Why can’t we take them in? First of all, our minds don’t want to take them in, in the same way that when we are in a traumatic situation we often shield ourselves by being in denial about that situation. How many of you know about that little psychological trick of denial? Ever had any denial in your life? Any of you married? So we have that wonderful trick of denial. We are in denial about what is happening with our lives. We just don’t think about it at all.

Then the other thing about it—if you think about how our minds work—what are your earliest memories? Some people say they can remember infancy. Some people say they can remember two years old, some people say four. Usually it’s about three or four years that you can have your earliest, earliest shreds of memory. Usually that’s the case. From that time until the age that you are now, that’s all the real memory that you have. So you have a problem, and that is you cannot learn cause and effect. There is no way that you can learn cause and effect thoroughly from your life. Do you know why that is? It’s because many of the causes that have caused your life to be the way that it is now did not happen in this lifetime. According to the Buddha’s teaching, you have lived many times before—not once, not ten times, but uncountable times in many different forms. And most of the causes that bring about the results of your life right now have been brought about or have been birthed previous to this incarnation, so you can’t possibly make the connection between cause and effect.

Many people resent the idea that it’s actually karma, or cause and effect, that causes us to suffer, because we don’t like the idea that we actually deserve this. We don’t like that kind of idea. We don’t like the idea that we may have been bad in the past. That kind of thinking is a bit childlike, isn’t it? Truly, it’s a bit childlike. When you look at your life right now…, let’s say you are experiencing extreme poverty, or let’s say you are experiencing some kind of terrible illness. If you are experiencing extreme poverty, it’s probably because in the past you have had a lack of generosity towards others. If you are experiencing some terrible disease, it’s probably because in the past you have broken some vows or commitments that you made with your body. These are the Buddha’s teachings.

Those things may have happened in this lifetime, but probably have not happened in this lifetime. Maybe in this lifetime you are very generous. Maybe in this lifetime you are keeping as many commitments as you can possibly manage. Maybe you’re doing the very best that you can. Doesn’t it seem unfair, therefore, that you would suffer from something that happened in a previous incarnation? What’s really unfair about it is that you can’t connect the dots. That’s the problem. You can’t connect the dots. There’s no way that we as ordinary samsaric beings, ordinary sentient beings with limited view, can possibly connect those dots. It’s impossible. What if you were seeing that your life was filled with terrible poverty and that, no matter what you did there was no way to get out of it? And yet you look at your life and you think, “Well, I have been generous. I’ve tried, you know. I mean, I’ve tried to give to others. I’ve tried to be kind. I mean I haven’t always done it perfectly, but I tried. So why do I deserve this poverty?” It’s very difficult for us, under that kind of situation, to do anything other than feel sorry for ourselves, and that’s what most of us end up doing. We end up perpetuating the myth that nothing is connected with nothing, that we don’t have to work at it, we don’t have to think about it. It’s just the luck of the draw. So we end up spending most of our lives in denial and complaining, and just not getting the big picture. That is the worst thing about samsara.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Norbu Lhamo. All rights reserved

The following is from the From the Nam Cho Ngondro, The Great Perfection – Buddha in the Palm of the Hand

“From attachment, hatred and delusion, non-virtuous karma is generated. All suffering arises from non-virtuous karma.”

Ten Non-Virtues

• Killing
• Stealing
• Sexual Misconduct
• Lying
• Harsh words
• Slander
• Gossip
• Coveting
• Cruelty
• Wrong View

Ten Virtues

• Renounce killing; protect the lives of others
• Renounce taking what is not given
• Practice generosity
• Give up sexual misconduct; practice discipline
• Tell the truth
• Abandon harsh words; speak pleasantly
• Give up sowing discord; reconcile disputes
• Put an end to useless chatter and recite prayers
• Renounce covetousness; rejoice in the good fortune of others
• Give up wishing harm to others; cultivate the desire to help them
• Put an end to wrong views; establish in yourself the true authentic view

Ten Virtuous Activities

• Composition
• Offering
• Generosity
• Attentiveness
• Recitation
• Memorization
• Teaching
• Praying
• Contemplation
• Meditation

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Bringing Virtue into Life”

Why is it we’re not facing that? Because of the very nature of samsara. It is like drinking alcohol. It is like taking a narcotic. There is something about the way we perceive in samsara. There is something about the way we register data that causes us to not see time passing, to remain fixated on a certain internal idea and not really taking into account what is actually happening. We learn instead to accommodate ourselves. We start dying our hair. We put on more makeup than we did 10 years ago. What else do we do? If we are men, women are not the only ones who dye their hair. This I have found out! This is the truth! Women are not the only ones that are doing it. Men are doing it too, or they use that, what is that stuff that you comb in and it takes, Grecian formula. Yeah. Some men use the Grecian formula.

Then others of us, we have different ways of not dealing with reality. You know, you get to be maybe 45, 50 years old and you realize that you can’t do what you did before. You just cannot. You don’t do it. You don’t want to do what you did before, but you simply cannot. Physically you cannot do what you did before and so the way you deal with that, instead of really dealing with that and really looking at that, is you sort of change your life style and you think, “What I’d really like now is a change of life style where coincidentally I am slower. I don’t have to walk or run as fast. I coincidentally would like to have a house with less stairs. I coincidentally would like to have clothes that are a little looser on me than they used to be.”

Some of us, the men for instance, when they are younger what they really want most in this world is motorcycles. You want a motorcycle so bad you can taste it! You’d do anything for a motorcycle or maybe a new guitar or fast car or whatever it is that young men really want. Then when we get older we don’t face the fact that we’re older, but suddenly we want a town and country car, the kind that has a special kind of seat for lower back pain. Then we get one of those beaded things you put on the seat for hemoroids. It’s all right, because nothing has really changed. I’m still a good looking man. You know, that’s the way we think. We’re just missing something here. We are not facing reality.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo. All rights reserved

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Bringing Virtue into Life”

Why is it we’re not facing that? Because of the very nature of samsara. It is like drinking alcohol. It is like taking a narcotic. There is something about the way we perceive in samsara. There is something about the way we register data that causes us to not see time passing, to remain fixated on a certain internal idea and not really taking into account what is actually happening. We learn instead to accommodate ourselves. We start dying our hair. We put on more makeup than we did 10 years ago. What else do we do? If we are men, women are not the only ones who dye their hair. This I have found out! This is the truth! Women are not the only ones that are doing it. Men are doing it too, or they use that, what is that stuff that you comb in and it takes, Grecian formula. Yeah. Some men use the Grecian formula.

Then others of us, we have different ways of not dealing with reality. You know, you get to be maybe 45, 50 years old and you realize that you can’t do what you did before. You just cannot. You don’t do it. You don’t want to do what you did before, but you simply cannot. Physically you cannot do what you did before and so the way you deal with that, instead of really dealing with that and really looking at that, is you sort of change your life style and you think, “What I’d really like now is a change of life style where coincidentally I am slower. I don’t have to walk or run as fast. I coincidentally would like to have a house with less stairs. I coincidentally would like to have clothes that are a little looser on me than they used to be.”

Some of us, the men for instance, when they are younger what they really want most in this world is motorcycles. You want a motorcycle so bad you can taste it! You’d do anything for a motorcycle or maybe a new guitar or fast car or whatever it is that young men really want. Then when we get older we don’t face the fact that we’re older, but suddenly we want a town and country car, the kind that has a special kind of seat for lower back pain. Then we get one of those beaded things you put on the seat for hemoroids. It’s all right, because nothing has really changed. I’m still a good looking man. You know, that’s the way we think. We’re just missing something here. We are not facing reality.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo. All rights reserved

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Bringing Virtue Into Life”

My experience has been that here in the west, when students come to Dharma, when they embrace Dharma and even when they’ve been practicing Dharma for a long time, they have the attitude that we, as people, are going to that church or that temple which is out there somewhere. It’s an incorrect attitude that bears examining. We go there and we act in a certain way according to the beliefs of that church or that temple, and then we go home and we continue on with our lives as though our lives have not been changed, as though nothing has been heard at this church or temple that is relevant to our lives. We don’t even realize that we’ve done that, but it’s such a deep prejudice that each of us has—this idea that one’s spiritual life or one’s religious life is somehow separate from the rest of one’s life. For westerners it is a deep prejudice to the point where it is almost invisible. It is so much a part of us that it has become, in a sense, part of our background, part of the landscape within our minds. It’s hard for us, at least, to pick this out and say “Look at that. I act this way when I’m around the temple and I’m thinking about Dharma and I’m thinking about the Buddha’s teachings. Specifically when I’m doing particular Dharma practice, I act this way. Then I go home and I proceed as though I had never heard of it.”

We don’t even realize to what extent we do that. Oh, it’s not to say that we don’t hear anything and we don’t try to do anything with our practice. For instance, if a teacher were to say to us “All right, now I’ve given you this empowerment.” And often when a teacher gives empowerment, the teacher will say “Now I’ve given you this empowerment, I need something from you in exchange. And what I need from you in exchange is the commitment to good moral conduct,” let’s say. Or “What I need from you in exchange is the commitment to never kill or harm another living being.” So when we have a directive like that we can fixate on that. We can put that in our pocket. That’s a direct order. We can hear that. That’s something we can carry around and it’s easy.

Maybe we go home and maybe we don’t kill anything anymore. Maybe we do things like, instead of getting out the old fly swatter, we capture the flies and we take them outside. So that’s our big effort as a Buddhist. The flies are thrilled. But the rest of what the teacher taught—those thoughts that should gentle the mind and turn the mind toward Dharma, that should make us see more clearly, that should make us live better and in a higher way, a more responsible way—these things we often miss. These things we don’t carry home with us.

A good “for instance” is the idea that samsara, or the cycle of death and rebirth, is tricky, seductive, that it is a narcotic, that samsaric living deludes us into a feeling of safety. In fact, our lives are samsaric lives. Since we have been born, they are involved in the cycle of birth and death. Our lives, in fact, according to the Dharma teaching, pass as quickly as a waterfall rushing down a mountain. This is an excellent example. This is something that every teacher will teach you the first time they see you; and they will teach you every time they see you until the last time they see you. In one form or another, you will hear this same teaching and these are some of the thoughts that we are taught that turn our mind toward Dharma. That’s an interesting thought, and actually that’s a very interesting image. It’s a perfect image, in fact, by which this teaching can be taught. The reason why is that when you look at a waterfall rushing down a mountain, you might see a waterfall that has been rushing down a mountain for hundreds of years, thousands of years. You could go to someplace where there is a very high mountain. Perhaps there’s been a waterfall there for a thousand years and you might think to yourself “My life is going to be as fast as a waterfall rushing down a mountain. Good deal.” Except that’s not how it’s meant, you see, because what the Buddha is talking about is that, if you took one cup of water and dropped it from the top of the waterfall, it would be down at the bottom of the waterfall in a flash. You couldn’t even follow it with your eyes, it would happen so fast, and that is how fast our lives pass.

Now when we are looking at our lives, we look at them the way we look at a waterfall going down a mountain. We don’t see the cup of water. We don’t think like that. We don’t want to think like that! Who wants to think like that?! We see the waterfall as being something stable, so this analogy becomes perfect. When we look at our lives, the evidence is clear. I don’t know about you, but I don’t look the same way as I did ten years ago. Do you? Even if you are 20, ten years ago you were ten. You still don’t look the same way as you did ten years ago. When you are 45, you know you don’t look the same way as you did when you were 35. So the evidence is clear and you see it every morning. You see it every morning when you brush your teeth or you do your hair or shave, or whatever it is that you do. You know about it. In fact, you’re playing this little game with yourself. I know because we all play this little game. Trust me on this. Especially the women can really identify this. We play this little game with ourselves. We’re not graying because we can go to the hairdresser and he will fix it. Every now and then we get really brave when the guy is up there fooling with our hair and putting the glop on. We say, “O.K., how bad is it? How gray am I?” And I don’t know about your hairdresser, but my hairdresser takes my hand and lovingly speaks to me and says “You will never be gray. I will help.” So the delusion goes on. See? It simply goes on, and we’re not facing it. We’re not facing the fact that this thing that we are most afraid of is actually happening.

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo. All rights reserved