Western Chod | Tibetan Buddhist Altar

Primordial State

December 8, 2016 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

Here’s what my practice looked like. At that time I didn’t know that it is better to meditate sitting up, so, I mediated some of the time laying down and some of the time sitting up. I actually found that when I lay down I would fall asleep. So, eventually, I developed the habit of sitting up. So, slowly, slowly, we find our way.

I would set up a symbolic altar. I had a dresser top that I would use for this purpose. I put representations of all things physical. I had some plants, leaves and things like that. I had some food (I think it was fruit generally), andpebbles, rocks, brightly colored things from outside. Then I put a mirror because somehow instinctively I understood. I was sort of in a quandary. I hadn’t had any teachings yet. I was extremely spiritually oriented, yet the only teachings I’d received indicated that God was kind of an old guy with a beard who sat on a throne somewhere. He was making x’s if you were bad and checks if you were good. That was pretty much my understanding of what religion was. I didn’t really buy into that. I really didn’t feel that that was appropriate or acceptable, and it seemed to me just not right.

So my understanding of the divine nature, or what was called God, I had to develop from within myself. I didn’t like to use the word God because I thought that indicated we were talking about something separate. I really thought that whatever that absolute nature is, it is absolute to the point where it cannot be separated from one thing and another. Whatever that nature is, it must be all pervasive. It must be the same nature that causes fruit to ripen or flowers to come forth in the springtime as it is to make my own heart beat. And I really thought that was it. I didn’t know what to call it, but that was absolutely it. So as well as I could understand, I began to meditate on what Buddhists call the primordial wisdom nature or the uncontrived natural primordial view. There are many different ways to describe it, but that was what my meditation consisted of.

My altar had a mirror on it; it had of all these things that represented earth. In my mind that represented all that is form and all that is formless. I didn’t have the word “samsaric” and I didn’t have the idea of things that are contained in the cycle of death and rebirth. I merely thought of things that are displayed in form and those things which were absolute and natural and uncontrived, and I thought my altar encompassed both elements of reality. I was pretty satisfied with that as being something that I could work with.

So, I began my practice. I used to mediate on this absolute nature. I used to think, ”This nature, this nature, what is it? What is it like? What is this thing?” And I would think to myself,

‘Well, this is the same nature that causes flowers to open, the same nature that causes my heart to beat, the same nature that causes my son to be born to me, the same nature that makes people love each other. It must be that this nature is the fundamental foundational underlying reality”. I thought like that.

Instinctively, I understood that this nature was natural and uncontrived. For instance, if we were to meditate or rest in that nature we wouldn’t be thinking, “Oh, I want this or I don’t want that. This is beautiful and that’s ugly.” We wouldn’t be thinking like that. I understood that that nature was some kind of restful state that was spontaneous and luminous, but free of contrivance, free of the distinction of self and other, free of the distinction of good and bad, hot and cold, ugly or beautiful, here or there even. I didn’t even think that in this state time and space actually applied. I realized that this state was free of that kind of defining or discriminating conceptualization. I thought to myself, “This is the underlying reality”.

When I meditated on that state, I knew, or I tasted, that upon holding the mind in that natural restful state free of contrivance, free of discrimination, there was no potential for suffering in that natural state, because nothing that causes suffering was there. Grasping and desire weren’t there, hatred wasn’t there, selfishness wasn’t there, anger wasn’t there, ignorance wasn’t there. We meditate on that state; we are not blind to that state. So, I didn’t feel like there was ignorance there or dullness or any of those things that cause suffering. I felt we were not inherently there in that nature.

Introduction to Western Chod

December 7, 2016 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

The main thought about this teaching that I am going to describe to you is that all of this occurred before I ever met with my root guru, with either one of my root gurus. I have two root gurus,;I hadn’t met with either of them. I had not met with the path called “Buddhism”. I had not read any books about Buddhism. I did not know anything about Buddhism. In fact, I am embarrassed to say now that I thought the Tibetans were kind, smelly, old guys who sat on rugs. I really did think like that. I am sorry, but, you know that is the truth. I am bound to tell the truth.

I was about 20 at the time. I had known for about one year that I had to engage in a course of preparation for some later events in my life. I really didn’t know what the later events were. I had no idea about being connected with Buddhism or anything like that. But I had always known that there would be something, and I had always known that I should prepare for it.

At the age of 19 I received certain indications that it was time to prepare. I had already begun on my program of meditation. Right around the time that I was twenty I gave birth to my first son, and he was a very cooperative son. He was willing to take naps during the day so that I could meditate. I swear that I didn’t bonk him over the head or anything. He just took naps. So, I was able to engage in meditation early in the morning, then in the afternoon during his nap time, and then later on in the evening. I was very much involved with it. My feeling for my practice was that this was really the main part of my life, that everything else was kind of black and white, and, that was the colored part somehow. Every time I would come to a place where I felt as though I had engaged in a certain element of my practice for long enough, or it just simply felt naturally time to move on, I would request inwardly to, I would have to say, the absolute nature (which is the way I understood divinity at that time). What was the next step? How could I practice? How should I continue to grow and engage? And this one time I received an awareness, and an indication and instruction that I should begin to practice in a certain way.

The practice will be presented in upcoming posts…

Natural Practice

June 24, 2016June 24, 2016 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

I came to understand that that is the way it would be. I had to not lie to sentient beings. I could not hold these beings in my arms and say, “Here I am for you. I’ll do anything I can for you,” because it was complete, pardon my French, bullshit. You know, I was lying to them. So I began to think, “Well, if this unlimited luminous, pure, uncontrived nature that is free of suffering could somehow be here, that’s it. That’s it.” But how to do it? How to do it?

At that time I really didn’t have the answers. Honestly, I have to tell you that part of my life was like mountain tops and valleys at the same time, because I really felt the bliss of feeling that I had come to understand the faults of this world and had come to truly reach for and lift my sights to something that was so much purer, so much better. I really felt the bliss of that, and kind of excitement and happiness of being on my way. But the suffering of knowing that you could do nothing but lie to your child… The suffering of knowing that everything that we see looks so good, so colorful and wonderful, and it’s bullshit. It’s a lie. That kind of suffering! It was a very difficult time. Plus the struggle of thinking “I’ve got to find a way!!” And I had no teacher who could give me the way. No teacher at that time had come to my life yet who could say, “All right. Do this and this and this, and that will happen.” So I’m struggling with this and I’m thinking every day, “What can I do?” I mean literally I had gotten myself into such a state that if I could have physically ripped out my heart and handed it to Lord Buddha himself… I didn’t think of Lord Buddha at that time, I forget. It was just that absolute nature. If I could rip out my heart and physically hand it to the absolute nature, I would do it, because I was going crazy, kind of a little crazy. There was this crazy Yogi phenomenon happening, you know? I was a little crazy with this idea. I couldn’t think about anything else. It was weird.

I would sort of reward myself at the end of the day, here on this farm. I would sit down and have a cup of tea and a snack. One day I went out and got some potato chips. I thought I would have some potato chips and a coke. Now I like potato chips, but potato chips don’t like me, so this was a splurge. So I had a potato chip. And then I started thinking about my practice, and thinking about the children, thinking of beings in samsara, thinking about my mouth. Did I give this up or not? I did. The whole thing became so disgusting to me.

So that’s the kind of experience that I had. Many of you will say, “Well, I don’t know if I want to have that kind of experience. Thank you very much.” But I have to say that also in that was a tremendous amount of joy, like nothing I had ever experienced in the world. Greater joy than even my family, which I was very happy with and very much caring for and very close to. Greater joy than anything I could see or touch or eat or smell or anything, because I could feel that here was some noble potential. Maybe it hadn’t been actualized yet, but somewhere was this noble potential, and the excitement of that was really happy. It was a happy and genuine thing, and I really thought that somewhere in here there is going to be the solution for sentient beings.

Here I was—you have to understand the humor of this.Here I am back in Chandler, North Carolina, reinventing the wheel, literally reinventing the eight-spoke wheel because I didn’t realize that Lord Buddha had already done this. I had no idea. I had absolutely no idea. So here I am trying to find the way. I didn’t realize that Lord Buddha at some point made the same decision. He noticed that there was old age, sickness and death and he left to go figure out how to make this better. He took off and tried to make it better. In a way, that’s exactly what I was trying to do. If only I had known, I could have short-circuited that a little bit. I have to tell you, that particular practice, done in that way, from my heart, with very little guidance —especially that nothing was written down so that I had to make it up—was so profound.

Courageous Awareness

August 24, 2012 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

I eventually came to draw a lot of strength and a great deal of comfort from that early practice (Chöd) because I found out that I actually never ever had to make another decision. And that’s what we struggle with all the time.

The rest of my life became not a dilemma in some odd way, even though there are many aspects of my life that would seemingly be problematic. It isn’t a dilemma because already the mind is relaxed. That’s one of the great benefits of that practice—the mind becomes relaxed. You’re not tense in the position of getting ready to determine, getting ready to decide. That requires a great deal of mental tension. So that’s done. The mind’s relaxed and it’s all right. There’s a big yes happening. There’s a big yes happening. I agree. I agree. It’s already done, so I don’t have to reinvent that dilemma and solve that dilemma every time. It’s already done. That’s the great blessing of a practice like that.

I have to tell you, once you really examine the faults of cyclic existence that way, and the eyes of suffering… I really recommend that if you do this practice. you can do it sitting, standing, anyway you want to. Do it while you’re walking around. Just constantly think like this. My recommendation is fill your eyes with suffering. Not your heart, not your mind, your eyes. We walk around feeling insulated. We don’t want to see it. You’re flipping through the channels and you see that child in, what, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, someplace like that, belly bulging, ribs sticking out at the same time and limbs that big around, and crusty at the side of the mouth. And why? Because they haven’t had any food recently. And no good food consistently. They’re starving. The first thing we do when we see that? Change the channel because we have the habit of not wanting to see that. We don’t want to see that.

My recommendation is spend some time seeing it. Stop turning away from the sight of suffering. Use that as a tool. It doesn’t mean that you have to, you know, give Buddhism a bum rap. I’m not asking you to be unhappy. I’m telling you that if you really open your eyes and see, you are in a scene where you are half unhappy and half happy already. It’s already mixed. This is not something you have to pretend. All I’m asking you to do is face it. Really look at it. Do not turn your eyes away from it. Fill your eyes with suffering. Stop faking it. We are a nation of fakers. Stop faking it and really see it. See what hatred produces. See what it looks like. Look into the face of it. See what hunger looks like. Face it. See what bigotry looks like. Look at it, face it, see what it feels like. See what ignorance feels like—the kind of dullness and slothfulness that you can hardly get yourself together. Get a good mouthful of that! See what that looks like. Look at all of this concerning ordinary experience in samsara. And then, having filled your eyes with that, you can use that as motivation, as a reason to practice.

So my recommendation is practice deeply, practice consistently. Do not turn your eyes away from suffering. Practice with courage. Be really courageous about this, and never let yourself off easy in this practice. To the bone, and then give them up too. Practice to the depth of your being, until you are deeply satisfied, until you know that you would never take back that offer again, the offer to be a vehicle by which suffering might end. Do not give up your practice until you know that you’ve done that. Be a hero. All you have to do is be a hero one time, one time in your whole life, concerning giving rise to compassion for the sake of sentient beings. Be a hero. Be undaunted. Do not be happy or satisfied with yourself until it is complete. Do not be happy or satisfied with yourself until you have really seen the suffering of cyclic existence and it makes you sick to your stomach, that not only you, but everyone you see is caught in it.

Practice as deeply as you are able. And you are able to practice more deeply than you could ever have imagined. So the goal here, of course, is to give rise to the Bodhicitta, give rise to compassion to realize the faults of cyclic existence. I used to think this to myself, whatever I saw,”There’s no future in this.” So in the future when I picked up a bag of potato chips, I’d go, “Well I can eat it or not eat it, but obviously there’s no future in this!” And I could look at any scenario in life and I would go, “Pff, no future in it. I’ve examined it. I’ve been there, I’ve done it in my mind.” That’s the awareness and understanding that you should be armed with.

Offered for the Benefit of All Beings

August 22, 2012 by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

The following is an excerpt from a teaching by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo called “Western Chod”

My teachers have instructed me that that practice is actually called ‘chöd’ (and there is an umlaut above the o). Actually there is no text to go with it so you couldn’t say it was the practice of chöd as it is written in the text. It has been called by my teachers the essence or essential nectar of chöd. So I have been given permission to continue to practice that way and also to teach others to practice in that way. My experience has been that it has made my life a lot easier.

Now how is that? Well, I’ll tell you. It came to pass that there were many sacrifices that needed to be made. I’m not saying this so that you’ll say “Oh, isn’t she a good girl!” Save it. I don’t care. But there were sacrifices that needed to be made. If I’d had my druthers, I would still be on a farm in North Carolina. By now I would not only know how to put up beans, but I would have the best darn garden you’d ever seen, and all the farmers around would be impressed. And I would have a dairy cow to boot. I would still be there. I would still be there, much isolated. I prefer a lot of privacy. Even though I seem to be good at this (I don’t know why but I seem to be good at this), I have to tell you that everyone who knows me well knows that to get me out of the house so that I’ll come and do my job, it takes oh, spraying with Pam and loosening her up with a crowbar. It’s not my natural tendency to want to come out and do this. I really don’t like this kind of thing.

Not only did privacy have to be given up (and that seems to be getting worse and worse), but also personal freedom. Now I am in the position where if I decide that I want to go somewhere and just not think about whether I look like a dharma teacher or not, just sort of be myself, I find that it’s a little tricky. It happens pretty often that people will come up to me and they will say “Are you that Buddha lady?” It really happens on a regular basis. In fact one time at the airport somebody came running up to me, “Are you that Jetsa Jetsa Buddha lady?” That Jetsa Jetsa Buddha lady, that’s me! So I have that kind of going on. And you know, I was not brought up as a Tibetan. I was not groomed for this job; I just got this job. So I found that many sacrifices had to take place, including watching my children have to give up their own privacy.

There are just a lot of issues. When we first came to this temple, none of the doors that you see were here. There were hardly any doors on the inside of the temple. Everything was very open and this room was divided in half. We used to live upstairs, but there were no doors between the upstairs and the lower, and so basically I was not separate from the temple whatsoever. And the only coffee pot, get this!, the only coffee pot in the whole place was downstairs where the kitchen room is downstairs now, and I slept upstairs. , Because this place was open 24 hours a day, I would have to wade through students to get to my first cup of coffee in the morning. If that’s not love, what is? ? Then my students would say to me, “You never smile at me in the morning.” Smile in the morning!! The weight of the bags under my eyes keep my cheeks from going up, what can I tell you! So anyway, smiling was not forthcoming before the coffee, I’m sorry. There’s not that much compassion in the world!

I eventually came to draw a lot of strength and a great deal of comfort from that early practice because I found out that I never actually had to make another decision. And that’s what we struggle with all the time. Should I spare this time to do my practice? Should I spare this time to practice compassion toward others? Should I spend the effort to go over here and help that person? Should I do that? It’s that thinking—should I, should I, should I? You burn more calories doing that than any of the good works that you actually do in your life. So I found out that that head thing that we do when we can’t decide and we always go through the dilemma of being a samsaric being, that was alleviated, and I never really had to make another decision ever again. I felt that from that point on, everything in my life had already been decided because I didn’t own my feet, I didn’t own my ankles, didn’t own my body, didn’t own my speech, didn’t own my hearing, didn’t own anything. Anything! I had already decided that I owned nothing. None of it was mine.

So then whenever I was called upon, well will you do this, will you do that, will you do that? Now the ultimate test, the moving! Will you do that? Yeah, I’ll do that. You know why I’ll do that? Because it’s already decided. None of this really belongs to me. My job now is to protect every capability that I have or any effort that I’ve made in order to benefit beings. That I will protect, with fangs out and nails extended. That’s when you’ll see the meanness in me. That I will protect, but regarding anything personal, it’s no big deal because it’s already gone. I don’t own it. So I take good care of it. I feed it well. I exercise it, but ultimately I realize that I’m doing that in order to maintain its strength in order to benefit sentient beings. I don’t feel that I own it. I’ve already given it up.