Holly

The Great Terton

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Vidhyadhara Migyur Dorje
(1645 – 1667)

The Great Terton (Treasure Revealer), Migyur Dorje was born in Nhom Tod Rola in the province of Kham in Eastern Tibet on the seventh day of the ninth month of the Wood Bird Year (1645). Just as Lord Buddha Shakyamuni, he was born without harming his mother or causing her even the slightest bit of pain. His right hand was marked by an extraordinary blue mole, symbolizing the single-essential nature of the Dharmakaya (The Body of the Ultimate Truth).

As a small child, he enjoyed using his hands to perform mudras (Dharma hand gestures) and carried out secret yogic exercises by himself. As soon as he could speak, he told others that he was a lama of the Kathog tradition and was able to give detailed description of his previous life at the Kathog Monastery.

During his childhood, he had many visions of Great Masters. One day he had a vision of Guru Loden Chogsed, one of the eight manifestations of Padmasambhava, and through gesture transmission, he understood how to read and write. When he was seven years old, in a state of pure vision, many Primordial Wisdom Dakinis told him of the importance of relying upon a guru. Instantly, without any obscuration he had a vision of the great scholar and siddha, Raga Ah Syei (Chagmed Rinpoche), who was in solitary retreat, and an intense desire arose to be in his presence.

When he was ten years old, he met Karma Chagmed Rinpoche in person and received the purification blessing of Nam Jom and Dor Sem, and the transmission of Thug Drub Yang Nying Dupa (Innermost Essence of the Mind Accomplishment). The following year, Migyur Dorje entered into retreat with the Great Mahasiddha, Karma Chagmed Rinpoche. At the retreat, Migyur Dorje received continual visions of Buddha Amitayus, Guru Padmasambhava, Buddha Amitabha, Avalokiteshvara and many other Yidams (Meditational Deities). From each of the Yidams, Migyur Dorje received many specific empowerments and transmissions. These he compiled into thirteen volumes called Nam Chö (Space Treasures) and practiced with single-pointed focus until he attained the full accomplishment of each of these treasures.

Although Terton Migyur Dorje was destined to reveal earth termas, the merit of sentient beings was deficient and it was due to this that his presence in this world was cut short. In 1667, the year of the Fire Sheep, he was in his twenty-third year and while staying in a sacred place in Mugsang, he began to show signs of illness. As the third month approached, his illness grew worse and he was forced to stop giving all dharma transmissions. On the eleventh day, he prayed to the meditational deities and offered many dedication prayers. On the fourteenth day, he had a vision of all eight Herukas and their accomplishment mandalas. On the morning of the fifteenth day, he beheld the three root-peaceful and wrathful assemblies of deities and assuming the vajra posture he entered into meditative equipoise. On the evening of the sixteenth day, while counting mantras on his prayers beads, he passed into the empty sphere of truth and remained sitting upright in meditative equipoise for three days.

At the cremation, rainbows in the shape of pitched tents appeared in the sky. The heart and tongue of Migyur Dorje were undamaged by the fire. These, together with the bone relics embossed with vowels and consonants of the Tibetan language were placed inside golden Stupas, which served as objects of refuge revered by devotees to this day.

Reference:  Pathgate Institute of Buddhist Studies

Palyul Nyingma Institute, Singapore

Tibetan Schools and Palyul

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Tibetan Buddhism has four main traditions:

Nyingma “the Ancient Ones” This is the oldest, the original order founded by Padmasambhava andSantaraksita.  Whereas other schools categorize their teachings into the three vehicles: The Foundation Vehicle, Mahayana and Vajrayana, the Nyingma tradition classifies them into nine vehicles, among the highest of which is known as Atiyoga or Dzogchen “Great Perfection”.  Hidden treasures (terma) are of particular significance to this tradition.

Kagyu “Lineage of the (Buddha’s) Word” This is an oral tradition, which is very much concerned with the experiential dimension of meditation. Its most famous exponent was Milarepa, an 11th century mystic. It contains one major and one minor subsect. The first, the Dagpo Kagyu, encompasses those Kagyu schools that trace back to the Indian master Naropa via Marpa, Milarepa and Gampopa, and consists of four major sub-sects: the Karma Kagyu, headed by a Karmapa, the Tsalpa Kagyu, the Barom Kagyu, and Pagtru Kagyu. There are a further eight minor sub-sects, all of which trace their root to Pagtru Kagyu and the most notable of which are the Drikung Kagyu and the Drukpa Kagyu. The once-obscure Shangpa Kagyu, which was famously represented by the 20th century teacher Kalu Rinpoche, traces its history back to the Indian master Naropa via Niguma, Sukhasiddhi and Kyungpo Neljor.

Sakya “Grey Earth” This school very much represents the scholarly tradition. Headed by the Sakya Trizin, this tradition was founded by Khon Konchog Gyalpo, a disciple of the great translator Drokmi Lotsawa and traces its lineage to the Indian master Virupa. A renowned exponent, Sakya Pandita 1182–1251CE was the great grandson of Khon Konchog Gyalpo.

Gelug “Way of Virtue” Originally a reformist movement, this tradition is particularly known for its emphasis on logic and debate. Its spiritual head is the Ganden Tripa and its temporal one the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama is regarded as the embodiment of the Bodhisattva of Compassion. Successive Dalai Lamas ruled Tibet from the mid-17th to mid-20th centuries. The order was founded in the 14th to 15th century byJe Tsongkhapa, renowned for both his scholasticism and his virtue.

Within these, Kunzang Palyul Choling is Nyingma

There are six “Mother” Nyingma Monasteries:

  1. Katok Monastery, in east Tibet, was founded during the twelfth century, and expanded in 1656.
  2. Dorje Drak Monastery was founded in central Tibet, in 1659.
  3. Mindroling Monastery, in central Tibet, was established in 1676.
  4. Palyul Monastery, founded in east Tibet in 1665.
  5. Dzogchen Monastery, in east Tibet, established in 1685.
  6. Shechen Monastery founded in east Tibet, in 1735.

Within these monastic traditions, Kunzang Palyul Choling is Palyul.

Palyul Monastery — one of the Six “Mother” Nyingma Monasteries. It was founded in either 1632 or 1665 by Rigdzin Kunzang Sherab, a disciple of Terton Migyur Dorje, and Karma Chagmed. The monastery specializes in kama practices, the termas of Ratna Lingpa and Tulku Migyur Dorje (1645-67). The current head of Palyul Monastery is the Fifth Karma Kuchen.

The inspired masters who contributed to the teachings practiced within Palyul

To date, Palyul has had 12 throne-holders in its history.  According to His Holiness Penor Rinpoche, while Nyingma is generally practiced as a Ngagpa tradition, within Palyul it has never been true. The Lineage Holders of Palyul have always been fully-ordained.

Important “elder statesmen” of Palyul, contemporaries and close senior students of His Holiness Penor Rinpoche, are:

It is because of these pure Lineage teachers that we continue to have a pure unbroken stream of wisdom to guide us today to reveal our own enlightenment.

Sources include Wikipedia, Rigpa Wiki, and most of all Pathgate.org, who gave us permission to use their thangka images and biographies

I Wanna

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Lyrics by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

I wanna change
I wanna change
The world

I wanna stop the pain
And make the people sing

I wanna bring
I wanna bring
The end of war
And set the people free

I wanna see
I wanna see
The end of lies
And hear the truth
As open as the sky

Chorus:
OM BENZAR SATO SAMAYA
MA NU PA LA YA
BENZAR SATO TE NO PA
TISH TRA DRI DHO ME BHA WA
SUTO KHAYO ME BHAWA
SUPO KHAYO ME BHAWA
ANU RAKTO ME BHAWA
SARWA SIDDHIM ME PRA YATTSHA
SARWA KARMA SU TSA ME
TSITTAM SHRI YAM KU RU HUNG
HA HA HA HA HO
BHAGAWAN SARWA TATHAGATA
BENZAR MA ME MUNTSA
BENZAR BHA WA MA HA
SAMAYA SATO AH

In the View, I confess all commitments broken through mental activity. Knowing the View is the all-pervasive foundational Bodhicitta; realizing that the View exists in non-existence, and practicing meditation that is non-existent, realizing that activity is neither existent nor non-existent, the Bodhicitta is without expectation or disappointment. All root and auxiliary commitments, breaches and failure to uphold them, are unborn, ungenerated, and liberated in the indivisibilty of the object to confess and the confession itself.

OM BENZAR SATO HUNG

Chorus

©Jetsunma Ahkön Lhamo

Bell and Dorje

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Bell&Dorje1

By Rinchen Khandro

In Vajrayana Buddhism there are ritual implements and instruments. Many of the Buddha images hold one or two, or many of these, depending on how many arms the particular Buddha is displaying. All of these implements have meaning. Each is there to engage our busy minds in a way that will lead us toward the Truth. Those held in the left hand relate to wisdom, the realization of the emptiness of all phenomena, and those held in the right hand relate to skillful means, or compassion.

The bell and dorje are two of these implements. The dorje, held in the right hand, represents skillful means, and the bell, held in the left, represents wisdom. Together these ritual implements represent the inseparability of wisdom and compassion in the enlightened mindstream. Looked at separately, each is a great treasure of spiritual meaning.

The word Dorje means Lord of Stones in Tibetan. It symbolizes the capacity to transform all experience into an experience of enlightened perspective. Everything in samsara, cyclic existence, is impermanent, and therefore, not to be relied upon. The dorje symbolizes the skillful means of transforming our ordinary experience to one that will propel us on our spiritual path. The dorje has five extraordinary characteristics. It is impenetrable, immovable, immutable, indivisible, and indestructible. The dorje is the indestructible weapon of the wrathful deities. It is the symbol of spiritual authority of the peaceful deities.

Vajra, the Sanskrit word, means the hard or mighty one, diamond-like. Its brilliance illuminates ignorance and reveals Truth, destroying the delusion that causes suffering. Once the cause of suffering is revealed to us, we are empowered to create the causes of happiness. Ultimately we will attain the egoless state, which is free from all suffering. From the Vajrayana perspective, the motivation for attaining this state is to relieve all beings from their suffering.

The physical appearance of the dorje is rich in meaning. At the very center is a sphere representing the dharmata, the sphere of reality itself, the ultimate truth. Surrounding the sphere on either side are one or three ‘strands of pearls’, depending on the size of the dorje.  These represent the three doors of liberation. The first door is the transcendental concentration of signlessness, in which words and concepts fall away and there is nothing to grasp. The second is the transcendental concentration on directionlessness, the state of perfect equanimity–spiritual stability and balance. The third is the transcendental concentration on emptiness.

Next to the pearls on either side of the sphere are eight-petaled lotuses. The petals on one side represent the eight great Bodhisattvas; the petals on the other represent their consorts. * The next display on the vajra is a moon disc. This is the seat of the Bodhisattvas symbolizing the full realization of Bodhicitta, the Great Compassion.

There are six more rings after the moon disc. These symbolize the six perfections: generosity, moral conduct, patience, joyful effort, concentration, and wisdom. The accomplishment of these six is the foundation of the Mahayana, the Great Vehicle of Buddhist study and practice. They are the hallmark of the Bodhisattva path. When one has accomplished these, one can truly be of benefit to others.

The next thing we see on the dorje are the makaras. A makara is a composite animal with jaws like a crocodile which symbolizes effort and persistence in Dharma practice.

A vajra may have one, two, three, four, five, six, or nine prongs. The most common is the five-pronged vajra. They look like points that protrude from the curved ends, one on each curve and one at each end. These five prongs symbolize the five Buddhas of the five Buddha families and their consorts.

The bell, also, is rich in symbolic meaning and power. Mainly the bell is the mandala of Prajnaparamita, the Great Mother, she from whom all reality comes forth. By its sound, the bell invites or attracts the deities to attend or participate and warns or drives away obstructing forces. The ringing of the bell can remind one of the emptiness of phenomena or bring the mind into greater awareness. As a musical instrument, its sound can be an offering to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

The hollow of the bell represents the void from which all phenomena arise, including the sound of the bell, and the clapper represents form. Together they symbolize wisdom (emptiness) and compassion (form or appearance). The sound, like all phenomena, arises, radiates forth and then dissolves back into emptiness.

If you look closely at the bell, you will see many markings or designs on it. Each of these has a meaning. On the rim of the bell is the disc of space that gives rise to the sound of emptiness. The vajra fence, the indestructible circle of protection which encircles the bell is bordered on both sides by a ring of pearls. The bottom ring is a ring of wisdom flames, representing the five primordial wisdoms. The top ring of pearls is another protective circle symbolizing the development of the higher states of consciousness which allow one to enter the celestial palace of Prajnaparamita. The flames are associated with Manjushri, the Bodhisattva of Wisdom, the vajras with Vajrapani, the Bodhisattva of Power, and the lotuses with Chenrezig, the Bodhisattva of Compassion.  This indicates that spiritual qualities are the true protection.

Above the protective border are the makaras holding loops of jeweled pendants with vajras in between them. The jeweled pendants decorate the celestial palace. The vajras in between symbolize the eight charnel grounds within the mandala. Above the jeweled loops and between the makaras are eight lotus petals representing the eight Bodhisattvas. The lotus petals are marked with syllables representing the eight consorts or offering goddesses. Above this is another double row of pearls with a row of vajras in between. These represent the inner walls and inner protection circle of the mandala.

The stem of the bell rises above this. At its base are lotus petals, representing Prajnaparamita’s lotus throne. On the stem there are two sets of pearl rings, a lower set and an upper set. Together these represent the six perfections. In between them is either a square or round base. The square base represents the earth, the round a long life vase. The long life vase symbolizes the nectar of accomplishment and represents the nectar-filled body of the goddess Prajnaparamita whose face is above. Prajnaparamita represents the perfection (paramita) of the absolute non-duality of all the Buddha’s wisdom or discriminating awareness (prajna). The binding of her hair represents the binding of all views into non-dual reality. There are five wisdom-jewels on her crown, which overlap onto the five front petals of the upper vajra’s eight-petaled lotus pedestal. The bell is crowned at the top with a five or nine-pointed vajra.

These two instruments give us much to contemplate and meditate upon. Deepening in our understanding of what they represent and using them in our practice with that deepened understanding give them the potential of being very valuable tools for our path. As we become more familiar with the various Buddhas and their qualities, and participate in ritual ceremony and empowerment we move closer to the realization of our own Buddha nature, which is, after all, the point.

References:

Beer, Robert, 1999. The Encyclopedia of Tibetan Symbols and Motifs, Shambhala, Boston.

Vessantara, 2001.The vajra and bell, Windhorse Publications11 Park Road, Birmingham, B13 8AB.

_______________________

*The eight Bodhisattvas and their consorts are:

East:              Kshitigarbha and his consort Lasya. She offers beauty and her syllable is Tam.

Southeast:  Maitreya and his consort Pushpa. She offers flowers and her syllable is Mam.

South:       Akashagarbha and his consort Mala. Her offering is garlands and her syllable is Lam.

Southwest: Samantabhadra and his consort Dhupa. Her offering is incense and her syllable is Pam.

West:       Avalokithesvara and his consort Gita. Her offering is song and her syllable is Mam.

Northwest: Manjughosha and his consort Aloka. She offers light and her syllable is Tsum.

North:       Vajrapani and his consort Nrit ya. She offers dance and her syllable is Pam.

Northeast: Sarva-nivarana-vishkambhim and his consort Gandha. She offers perfume and her syllable is Bhrum.

An American Miracle

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Ani Thupten Palchen
Ani Thupten Palchen

In Honor of Ani Thupten Palchen on the one year anniversary of her death

Ani Thupten Palchen died on Friday, January 8, 2010, at the age of 80. As Tibetan Buddhist practitioners, we have heard stories of seemingly ordinary and devoted practitioners in Tibet who showed miraculous signs at the time of their deaths.  And now we have in our own sangha a display of these miraculous signs from a student of Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.

What are the miraculous signs of accomplishment at the time of death?  The signs are described in the following excerpt from the introduction of the new biography for His Holiness Dudjom Rinpoche called an Introduction to Light of Fearless Indestructible Wisdom

The Dzogchen tantra Blazing Relics of Buddha-Body describes signs of realization observable to others when a great master leaves the body, as well as the meaning of those signs. When a circle of light surrounded by rings appears after death, that individual has reached the ultimate state. When a light goes straight up, it indicates that the individual has instantly reached enlightenment without having to experience the bardo.

When beams of light appear, it means the individual is reaching enlightenment at the end of the bardo. That same tantra teaches that when a sound comes from the eastern direction, the practitioner has achieved enlightenment in the vajra family; from the south, in the ratna family; from the west, in the padma family; from the north, in the karma family; and from above, in the buddha family. Furthermore, the complexion of one who has merged the child and mother clear-light luminosity states remains bright; even if the body is left for as long as twenty-five days, it will remain fresh. And fragrances are emitted, more pleasant than camphor, saffron, and sandalwood.

Ani Thupten Palchen’s body was kept in the hospital for six days before it was transferred to the crematorium.  Since her body was to be cremated, it was not embalmed.  On the seventh day after her death, three Buddhist Anis (nuns) went to dress her body for cremation.  According to Beverly Heckrotte, the President and Mortician of Going Home Cremation Service in Clarksville, Maryland, nothing had been done to the body other than refrigeration.  No embalming process was used and no make up was applied.  Juanita Thomas, Mortician, confirmed that the only thing she had done was wipe Ani Palchen’s face to make it nice and clean.  She also indicated that the refreshing scent in the room was unusual, especially considering the length of time since her death and the fact that Ani Palchen had open wounds from a skin graft on her leg and open heart surgery.  As evidenced by the photo of Ani Palchen’s body, Ani Palchen’s face and skin continued to have a natural tone seven days after her death. These are unusual signs.

Here is a first hand report from Ani Aileen who was present at the crematorium.

Today Ani Drolkar, Ani Rinchen and I went to the crematorium to dress Ani Palchen’s body for the cremation. We took her daily robes, her yellow robes, and the rest of her Dharma clothes and put her together as best we could. Then we covered her with flowers and incense. She looked beautiful!

Juanita from the crematorium was with us and we commented on the fact that Ani Palchen had no odor, although she’d been dead a few days. And, at the hospital, they had taken skin to use in grafting for burn victims, so she had open wounds. In fact, the whole room smelled quite pleasant. Juanita replied that it was quite unusual for someone to be completely without odor–and almost unheard of when there were those kinds of open wounds. We were all delighted and astonished. Ani Palchen looked so peaceful when we left her after prayers of dedication and we were so happy at her auspicious transition!!!

Ani Ariana’s report:

I had the great good fortune to be present when the call came to the home of Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo, our Guru and Spiritual Guide that Ani Thupten Palchen had died.  As has been described previously, Jetsunma immediately went into her prayer room and performed the practice of Phowa for Ani-la at the very moment of her death.  Palchen was successfully awakened from her death slumber, and guided by Jetsunma to Amitaba’s Pure Realm, known as Dewachen.  She was liberated!  This is what all practitioners aspire to; this is our goal.

Now we have a most remarkable second part to Ani Palchen’s story.  Her body had remained for almost a week at the hospital where she died, an unusually long time. Finally, her body was released for cremation.  In preparation for this final step, three of our Anis went to the crematorium to dress Ani Palchen in her ordination robes, and to prepare her body with due respect for the cremation.  They surrounded her with flowers, laid incense on her body, and arranged her as though for a funeral pyre.  To everyone’s astonishment, they discovered that there was no odor whatsoever from Ani Palchen’s body.  Even after so many days, even after having been subjected to surgery and skin grafting prior to her death, there was no scent of deterioration.  This was incredible to everyone there.

Jetsunma confirmed that this phenomenon occurred because Ani Palchen had been truly liberated.  It was a sign, a true confirmation of her successfully following the Path of Vajrayana, with complete devotion and faith, and achieving freedom from the suffering of cyclic existence.  It was a modern day miracle.  There could be no ordinary explanation for the phenomenon that was witnessed at the crematorium.

Here is Ani Sonam’s report:

I was at Jetsunma’s house when Ani Ariana got a call from Ani Rinchen who was at the crematorium where they were dressing and preparing Ani Palchen’s body for cremation, and they reported that it was very unusual because the body had no odor.  When Jetsunma was told she said, “That’s a sign that Ani Palchen is no longer ordinary.  She has been liberated.”  And Jetsunma said, “This is wonderful news for people who don’t believe that miracles can happen anymore.”  I commented that, even more extraordinary, it was a Westerner who had accomplished her practice.  And Jetsunma said, “A woman accomplished her practice with a woman teacher.”

This is historic.  These are signs of Ani Palchen’s spiritual accomplishment through her devotion to her root Guru, Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  In Jetsunma’s words, this is “Proof that liberation in one body is possible! Lineage and devotion are the real deal.”

His Holiness Karma Kuchen Rinpoche, Head of the Palyul  Lineage was informed about Ani Palchen’s miraculous signs. His Holiness Karma Kuchen upon seeing this post on Ani Palchen, looked closely at her picture and said, “I know her from retreat! This is good!  This is VERY VERY good!” Nawang Paljor who was with His Holiness, expanded by saying, “Especially in Nyingma, faith & devotion are emphasized, and even lay people show these accomplished signs from their practice. Now for westerners, it’s very good that they can see with their own eyes this proof of their faith, and perhaps more westerners will be drawn to Dharma.”

Ani Palchen

Delusion

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An excerpt from a teaching called How Buddhists Think by Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

According to the Buddha, all that you perceive through your five senses, all your feelings, all the thoughts you take pride in, are based on delusion.  Essentially, this experience, this game, this scam, is a puff ball.   In fixation, we do not have the spacious, luminous view of our Primordial Wisdom Nature as it is.

Due to the distinction we make between subject and object, we react to every phenomenon we perceive with attraction, repulsion, or neutrality. And even neutrality is part of the continuum and leads to additional fixation, which leads to additional desire.

Even as you watch me drink a glass of water, you may experience a tiny bit of wanting water, and thus an infinitesimal amount of suffering. You may talk yourself out of this wanting, but then right away you want something else.  A minute cause-and-effect relationship has begun, and it remains part of you.

Such fleeting desires, no matter how small, distract us from an awareness of our Primordial Wisdom Nature.  The mind remains enmeshed, fixated on this subject-object experience.

Copyright ©  Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo.  All rights reserved

Jetsunma’s Collection of Tweachings for 2010

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Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo frequently uses Twitter to teach Dharma.  We call these “tweachings.”  The following is a collection of Jetsunma’s tweachings for 2010.  Click on the title to access each post.

Happy New Year!

We Can Do It!

The Swiftest Path

We Are the Ones

Cultivating Awareness

Can You Change?

How Will You Live Your Life?

Why Do People Lie?

How Does One Learn to Forgive?

Roar of the Dakini

Unwind Obsessive Behavior

You Can Start a War… Can You Stop It?

Accomplishment on the Path

Empowering the Feminine

Longing for His Holiness Penor Rinpoche

Lineage and Transmission

Warrior of Compassion

Turning Away from Samsara

The Four Thoughts

Sincerity on the Path

Thanksgiving Message

Feeling Down?  Advice for the Path

Don’t Remain Trapped by Habitual Tendency

Letting Go of Ego

Guru – Condensed Essence of the Path

Advice from the Heart

Pearls of Wisdom

The Key to Happiness is Merit!

Navigating Kaliyuga

Dharma in the West

Cultivating Virtue, Pacifying Poisons

Lead Your Mind to a Pristine Point

Preparing for Death

Loving Kindness and Adversity

What Seeds Are You Planting?

Step by Step in Vajrayana

How Far Will You Go?

The Nonvirtue of Lying

Understanding Our Root Guru

Advice for the Courageous Practitioner

Peace for the Holidays?

Black Hole or Bardo?

The Freedom to Practice Dharma

Can a Woman Give Empowerment?

Unending Vow

What Are We?

Buddha in the Palm of Your Hand

What is Real?

Awake to Truth

Faults of Cyclic Existence

Love Like the Sun

Understanding AH

An Introduction to Mantra Recitation

Aspirational Bodhicitta

Courageous Compassion

Ethical Responsibility of a Teacher

Mother Earth

Keeping Love Alive

Liars and Beartraps

Twitter’s Full Potential

In a Nutshell

Three Root Poisons

How to Handle a Crisis

Speaking of Love

Our Nature is Love

Calling to His Holiness Penor Rinpoche

Letting Go of Hate

Worthy of Respect

The Power of Choice

Rebirth of His Holiness Penor Rinpoche

Remembering His Holiness Kyabje Penor Rinpoche

Homage to His Holiness Penor Rinpoche

Give Rise to the Bodhicitta

Walking the Talk

Method

Advice for the Path

Using Twitter to Bring Love and Stop Hate

Feeding Wildlife in the Winter

Using Twitter as a Bonfire of Loving Kindness

Copyright © Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

Family: What Is the Purpose?

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Family making offerings at Kunzang Palyul Choling Temple
Family making offerings at Kunzang Palyul Choling Temple

Family:  What Is the Purpose?

By Jetsunma Ahkon Lhamo

Since ordination is so central to Tibetan Buddhism, I am often asked what the point is of marriage and family.

First, I will say that the status of householder is well recognized. A Buddhist householder who upholds Genyen vows is committed to the path to the point that there is a certain degree of renunciation. Not to the degree of bikshu or bikshuni, but still present.

From that description, one can see that the modern ideas of love and marriage are not helpful. Generally we “fall in love” due to strong attraction, sexual desire, the wish to be connected in a profound way. Often there is the biological need to procreate and pass our genes on. Due to strong attraction and desire, we are often compelled or driven to be with someone.

Actually, those are not good reasons to get married. The best reasons are shared goals, shared path, shared capacity both spiritual and intellectual, and the love that is born of respect for one another, understanding of each other’s needs, and a willingness to share life’s ups and downs.

The superior way of marriage is when both parties are committed to the path and to living the life of a Bodhisattva together. The best marriage is the one that supports both parties in such a way as to enhance their spiritual life.  To interact with kindness and a respect for each other’s efforts on the path, and to catalyze true effort and result. An example would be one parent “holding down the fort” while the other is in retreat.

In a marriage, both parties should encourage each other to develop their very best qualities, and support each other in uprooting their poisons and abandoning them. The quality of a relationship born of faith and compassion is much different from an ordinary marriage based on material goals. The mutual embrace of a sacred life is deepening, and bonding. And satisfying in the long run.

Such a marriage is capable of bringing into the world children of great promise. By their parents’ teachings, they will come to know truth. By their parents’ example, they will learn to love and respect. These are the children who will be empowered to stand for truth, inner peace, strong wholesome values, and faith.

In short, marriage and family can be powerful agents for creating a better, more balanced world.  From generation to generation, therefore, this is a blessing that keeps on giving.

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